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Post by fallen on Jan 7, 2013 15:46:17 GMT -5
All typos fixed and ready for the next release! Thanks for the great feedback!
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Post by grävling on Jan 7, 2013 23:21:53 GMT -5
Tunnel Guns
s/max out around 10/max out at around 10/ s/normally/commonly/
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Post by grävling on Jan 7, 2013 23:23:26 GMT -5
more Mercer s/go between/go-between/ s/and their Cyber Knight/and their Cyber Knights/ s/mega-corps/megacorps/ (pick one spelling and stick with it. Right now in the game we have both with and without a hyphen. I like without better, but with is fine as long as it used consistently. And in the documentation and website and andoid play screen as well.
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Post by grävling on Jan 8, 2013 1:39:27 GMT -5
Frederic Flynn (introductory text) s/Exactly who/Exactly whom/ Or maybe /Exactly what/ -- which should satisfy those people on your side of the Atlantic who have given up using the word 'whom' while not making those of us on the side that still uses the term itch.
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Post by grävling on Jan 8, 2013 2:08:17 GMT -5
Frederic Flynn s/on to the next/onto the next/ s/you are doing a job/you have accepted a job/ s/The building where the job is located/The name of the building where the job is located/
and change the text from 'bold' in normal font to bold in a bold font.
s/a special kind of work/special kinds of work/
the No one else can .... compares paragraph has multiple issues.
Try:
No one can store job data or a contract like a Cyber Knight. Your Quantum Cryptochip is untamperable. This means, paradoxically, that information sent via a CyberKnight is more secure than the same information sent over the WorldNet. It also is the only information that can be reliably authenticated. Nothing else compares.
s/for even some of the easier jobs/for jobs that do not require a Quantum Cryptochip,/ s/start you with/start you off with making/ s/You are getting paid to be on a need-to-know basis./These things are handled on a need-to-know basis -- and a Cyber Knight never needs to know./
now add something like: Most of the time I don't know what is in the message, either. And this is safer for both of us. There is no point in kidnapping us and torturing us to reveal information that we simply do not have.
s/message delivers/message deliveries/
I don't like the 'one last thing being the navi system helping you locate the job targets'. For the first while, we are going to stay within this one square, correct? So skip this bit until you are willing to hand out jobs outside of this one zone.
Instead, I want to know about how one refuses jobs, how one gets paid, and what happens if you are late with the delivery.
s/but follows the same rules/but will follow the same rules/
s/I'm here to train you, not take it easy on you./You're not yet ready for more difficult work./
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Post by grävling on Jan 8, 2013 2:23:18 GMT -5
s/just anywhere/anywhere without permission/
just anywhere makes sense if you are on a mission -- but you will be package delivering here before then, and at that point the 'just' doesn't make sense.
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Post by grävling on Jan 8, 2013 2:25:46 GMT -5
More Mercer s/in charge of your training, and your combat training/in charge of your job and combat training/
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Post by grävling on Jan 8, 2013 2:42:09 GMT -5
more Frederic
s/biting that hand that/biting the hand that/ s/pick up and delivery/pick-up and delivery/ (or pick-up-and-delivery) s/Its booming/It's booming/ s/some the same jobs/some of the same type of jobs/ s/He's a deadly pro/He was a deadly pro/ s/but too old/but got too old/ s/its all up in his head/it is all there, up in his head/ s/make combat training/fake combat training/ s/its all real/it's all real/ s/The Gaslamp/the Gaslamp/
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Post by grävling on Jan 8, 2013 3:00:12 GMT -5
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Post by grävling on Jan 8, 2013 3:01:44 GMT -5
Drip-side Drinks
s/on the side of the/on this side of the/
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Post by grävling on Jan 8, 2013 3:12:03 GMT -5
Canalside Hotels s/Why do you think/Why did you think/
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Post by grävling on Jan 8, 2013 3:49:52 GMT -5
Tunnel Guns s/at the large categories/at the two main divisions/ s/its melee weapons/it's between melée weapons/ s/how like you are/how likely you are/
I'd really like it if Speed became Rate.
And in all of these conversations, you need to say that larger numbers are better.
s/only has one Speed/only has a Speed of 1/ s/can only get/only get/ s/spend 3 AP/attack at a cost of 3 AP/ s/can possibly/can ---- and grumble grumble I bumped the screen so will have to leave the rest of that screen for a different character.
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Post by grävling on Jan 8, 2013 3:53:56 GMT -5
Evil Eye Molly at the Gaslight s/transient/transients/ s/take a day/take my advice/ s/head over the Canals/head over to the Canals/ s/its sure to/it is sure to/ (or it's sure to) s/darlin/darlin'/
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Post by grävling on Jan 8, 2013 4:15:13 GMT -5
Mallor True s/its not the same/it's not the same/ s/You keep/You lead. You keep/ s/make it a little more clear/things a little more clear/
huh? I didn't get any fighting advice here. Step closer and -- nothing. Was I supposed to get some? (edit: I see, it comes in the fight. But a screen with in italics 'Mallor explains some things to you' would do wonders here.)
Also -- If I get banged up, any advice -- this needs to have Mallor: in front of it or else you might think you are talking to Holly.
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Post by grävling on Jan 8, 2013 4:35:12 GMT -5
Flashback in the Whitey fight 'watch your six'?? I don't understand what this means. 'get out of dodge' -- if this is the expression 'get out of Dodge (city)' it needs to be capitalised. But it may be too obscure for an international audience. Also, it is a confusing thing because we have an _ability_ called 'dodge' -- so do you mean get out of dodge range? and how does all of that work anyhow? I think what you want here is not 'get out of dodge' but 'escape from the battle'. But I am confused. s/stay in it/stay in a battle/ or (stay in combat). Also I think this is bad advice. I don't think the longer you stay in battle the more likely it is to go bad. It will generate more heat, and that is bad, but that is all. I think that more CK screw things up by trying to take things too quickly than by making them last too long. Long battles are careful battles, ones where you back off and do not let the opponent get an in-range shot at you. The way to get killed in this game is to say, ah, well I can stand one blow and then things will be over faster ... sure thing, the whole game is over because you are dead (if you play on brutal). So I think this is really terrible advice that Mallor True is giving out here. The important advice that he is not giving you, though, is that you do not get any more experience for killing 15 gangers than escaping out of a fight with 1 ganger. So don't fight just for the heck of it, do so because you need to. (Or, well, ok, you can fight because it is fun. But that isn't an in-game reason to fight. ) 'in the yellow area'? I don't have a yellow area. Is this a planned feature?
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