CyberKnight is NOT a wise career choice

[LordofSyn]

So will we. hopefully ...

[blackgauntlet]

As ah made mah merry way to Finnian (or Fennian? Ah'm not sure) territory in Dorchester to take out some chummer (hey! Ah'm usin' tha word now! Ah'm savvy!) in an Old Tool Shed, ah saw some enforcers pickin' on an innocent.

Actually, da innocent dun really look innocent. She looks a tad over made-up wit' ports stickin' out her neck. Methinks she's a Datawhore, sellin' her body fer paydata dat she could not git herself.

But me instincts took over and put meself in...

*COMBAT*

Max "FOD" Daniels Vs. 3 Fennian Thugs & 1 Hund

Round 1A:
Max moved out of gun-range from the closest Fennian.
Fennians and Hunds start closing in, with the closest Fennian getting into Max's optimal range of fire.

Round 1B:
Max whipped out his Lightfire, aimed and fired- hitting the Fennian and wounding him grievously. As the Fennian grimaced in pain, Max finished him off with a bullet to the head, spilling his brains all over the pavement.

Round 2A:
Max knew that the hund would catch up to him fast and ran behind a building, forcing the other 2 Fennians to take a longer route. The hund bounds over and is now in Max's attacking range. Max measured, damn, it's not nearly as close as he would have liked but he can't risk it with the Fennians close to his heels. He took aim and let go a barrage of bullets. The hund was seriously injured by the slugs but not letting up in its blood hunt.

Round 2B:
The Fennians continued their pursuit and would have their guns in range with Max very soon. Wounded, the hund limped over just in front of Max. With a sly grin, unbecoming of a nincompoop, Max put his barrel between the canine's eye and pulled the trigger with a resounding roar.

Round 3A:
Counting his rounds, Max once again slinked beyond the corner of the building, putting he 2 Fennians whom would have finally caught up with Max, a few more steps away.

Round 3B:
Max activated his Cyberloader and watched as the rounds slide from the feeder in his forearm into the Lightfire's magazine with uncanny ease. Sometimes, Max wonders why he needs to stand still while doing that but figures that a greater power than himself dictates the rules of his universe. As he contemplated on that divine truth, the Fennians have rounded the corner and standing face to face with him... and his gun.

Round 4B:
Max took no pity as he let loose the first slug in his freshly loaded firearm right into the ugly mug of the Fennian Thug in his optimal range of fire and downed him in a single burst of rounds. The last Thug opened fire but his shots scattered carelessly which Max did not even bother dodging.

Round 5A:
Max danced a few steps back in an unholy grace that would have caused most people to stare in disbelief that this is the same idiot who doesn't know what a NuYen was. The Thug gave chase...

Round 5B:
and accidentally shoved his face into Max's Lightfire which recoiled a couple of times...

*VICTORY*

Well... that sure was fun!

Ah quickly went through them pockets and also the hund's rectum (cos you'd never know whatcha gonna git!) for some good stuff.

Kaching! Loads of ammo and some paydata of the Los Vals from the Fennians. Got some blue pills from the hund. Wonder what them stuff is fer. Ah have the same stuff in the scarecrow's trench-coat too. Wonder who left 'em there. Maybe dah was sick and he's taking them non-official medication because doctors are expensive and you get these blue pills for free inside a hund's ass?

Oh... buncha people crowding around now. Better scare 'em away or them friends of these thugs might decide to drop by. "Boo! I'm a boogeyman! I eat small children for breakfast! Oh, and milk! I drink milk too!"

Strangely, them crowd don't think me scary at all... some were taking holovids of me. Man... Ah think I'd be on YouSuck's top vid in the Matrix for months! Once again, ah wonder why ah can't just open fire at the crowd. Ah shoot way better than ah could talk.

As da crowd lost their interest and start to disperse, the Datawhore was nowhere to be found. Hmm... Anyway, better git going as time's a-ticking!

[gravismetallum]

That was entertaining,Max takes to killin fools like a pro. He's also not at all shy about giving full body exams to hunds.....that's why we need chainsaws....rip around the innards for a bit and all the valuables just fling loose.

Made me smile.

[blackgauntlet]

He's yo regular Mike Tyson. Put him in a ring, and he's like a tornado of destruction. Take him out, he's this short fella with a chipped tooth who keeps getting conned out of his money by his own manager and couldn't intimidate a baby with his Mickey-Mouse voice even if his life depends on it.

[gravismetallum]

Unlike Mike though it sounds like he can control his temper....maybe its those country bumpkin type manners he grew up with.

What a nasty suprise for the enemies following Max around waiting for the right time to jump outta the shadows and say "Time to die chummer". Now if they would just do less violent things like jump outta the shadows and say "Wanna buy a watch?" They would be way more successful.

[blackgauntlet]

Exactly! ;D

I think chicks dig this type of guys though...

[james123]

Do continue this story please!!!

[blackgauntlet]

Wow! All the buildings in NBZ are nicely labeled! See, the Old Tool Shed actually has a signboard that says gOld Tool Shedh! How convenient is that? Itfs like that fugitive is just asking to be offed! Oh, and another thing strange about NBZ is that, if the doors to the building arenft facing the south, therefs no way for me to enter itc Ahfm sure there must be a reason for it but stillc spookyc

Good thing ah came here from the south then. Just as ah was about to reach the building, ah got BURNED by some spy. Ahfm not even sure what that means but ah sure do get lots more stares from the locals than ahfm used to. Should ah go hide in a cheap motel and wait for the locals to fergit about me?

But the Old Tool Shed is just a few steps awayc And ah really need some nuYen to git me some bullets fer those nasty old hunds. So, off we go fer some fugitive hunting! Oughtta be fun! Phew! The place is rank! Do they keep tools or manure here?

Knock knockc A guy popped his head out and asked why ahfm here. Ah wanted to say something inconspicuous-like. Maybe delivering pizza? Sing-a-gram? Birthday party male stripper? Hmmc the guy looks gayc So, ah gave a smile what me neighor Sam Austin always had on his face when he starts to do the jiggy with em wheaties with lady parts, winked and said in a lecherous tone, gYou know why Ifm here.h

Apparently, this fugitive must have figured that mah soldier boy is so huge it could kill someone by rupturing his rectum, which is why he screamed, gYoufll never catch me alive!h Ah blame me dah fer mah superior genetics in the nether departments. It must be the bulge in mah pants that gave it away. Oh, waitc thatfs me dahfs Lightfire actually. Either way, dahfs fault.

*COMBAT*

Max "FOD" Daniels Vs. 4 Fennian Thugs, 1 Hund & 1 Fugitive

Round 1A:
Max gave chase to the Fugitive. It will take probably 2 rounds to reach the slimeball in blue. The Fennian bodyguards followed Maxfs trail with the Hund closely behind.

Round 1B:
Max kept his sights on the Fugitive but that slimeball had kept the distance. Damn! Another 2 more rounds!

Round 2A:
The hund is now dangerously near and Max would have to maneuver carefully in order to reach the Fugitive safely while avoiding his pursuers. Luckily, the Fugitive has cornered himself.

Round 2B:
The Fugitive looked around in despair and hoped that his bodyguards could kill off that homosexual assassin before Max could lay his fingers on him. The words gBring out the gimp!h kept ringing in the back of his mind.

Round 3A:
Finally, Max has his pistol sights set on the Fugitive, albeit not in optimal range. But his skill in Firearms is what he took pride in. Shots rang out. The Fugitive crumpled over. Mission complete.

Round 3B:
Thatfs what Max wanted to believe as the bodyguards closed in and set their Hund on him. Max looked for an escape route. None!

Round 4A:
The Hund pounced on Max and missed a few bites but eventually gave a couple of painful bites on Maxfs nether departments. With a painful yelp, Max fired a few rounds into the caninefs skull and put it to sleep.

Round 4B:
The thugs have finally moved close to firing range. Max quickly whipped out his Medkit and zapped hisc uhc tender regions with thec erc eletronicalc healingc devicesc Okay, I have no idea how that works, so just bear with me as I finish the story, right? Suffice to say, Max was almost back to full health but his one and only Medkit had been depleted. Serves the stupid bastard right for not taking his education in Electronics seriously.

Round 5A:
Looking through his pistol sight, Max found a thug in optimal firing range. Still pissed at the bite he got, Max fired a couple of rounds and downed the marauder while screaming, gWhat if it has rabies?! Me dah would be so mad at me if ah had to remove mah equipment!h

Round 5B:
With the only thug close enough to get a good shot at Max down, the other bodyguards shuffled forward while Max measured them.

Round 6A:
It took the remaining bullets in the magazine to take down another Thug. Things are starting to look bleak as the other two thugs begin their assault at Max. Dodging as best as he could that would have made pre-awakened Neo proud, Max was still shot once.

Round 6B:
Max activated his Cyberloader and, to his utter horror, a distinctive *click-kthunk* emanated from the equipment. He has finally ran out of ammo with only three bullets left in his pistol. The thugs fired again, Max was not so lucky this time and was shot twice.

Round 7A:
With three gaping holes on his torso and a terrible electrified numbness in his crotch, Max returned fire and killed off one of the remaining two thugs. Max holstered his empty pistol and shrugged. If he were hit at least once, hefd be off to see the Wizard. Perhaps the Wizard found him too funny to let him die now and arranged a miracle for the thug to turn blind and shoot at everything but Max.

Round 7B:
Max charged forward and punched the thug right in the face and didnft let up till he finally knocked the assailant out.

*VICTORY*

AH WIN! WHO IS YER DAH?! Once again, da crowd came along as ah gave da routine gMove along, nothing ta see here. Just another couple of dead bodies, just another day in the NBZ. So on, so forthch and a strip search on all them corpses at da same time. Itfs like what ma dah used ta say, gCorpses are like boxes of chocolates, yfnever know what yer gonna git.h Which ah said, gBut dah, donft we gitc I dunnoc chocolates from boxes of chocolates?h And ah got a slap fer that as dah said, gDonft ye be giving me no lip, boy! No chocolates fer ye! Ever!h

And ah never did. Doubt anyone in Neo-Kansas ever did, actually. Jackpot! Ammo! A Medkit! Andc whatfs this? Cyberknews? Mehc looks like what me dah used to wipe his arse wid. Ah prefer paper but, well, works fer him.

Oops! People are takinf holovids of me againc Vinnyfs gonna be soooo madc Better get going. On mah way back, ahfm thinking if ah should trudge mah way to a nearest motel first. Looking at them holes on my body, ah decided that itfd be for da best when, suddenly, another spy attack BURNED me!

Geezc what next? An ambush? Oh, look! Itfs that Datawhore again! I thinks. With friends. They donft look too friendlyc ohc theyfre not. Guess NBZ isnft such a friendly placec

RIP – MAX gFIST FULL OF DOLLARSh DANIELS