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Post by grävling on Mar 19, 2017 9:33:54 GMT -5
My poor Prince is living on a world with 0 economy. This leads to this screen.  It would read better if the text went We currently hold a Rank 0 Permit (None) with Syndicate Rychart. 'We currently hold a Rank 1 Permit (Spice Trader)' and the rest will also read well with this proposed rewrite. Right now you ( fallen) sometimes use the definite article when referring to Clans, Houses, and Syndicates (so 'the Syndicate Rychart' here) and then, sometimes you don't. I think it reads better to omit the definite article all the time, but I realise that this is a matter of matching how things are said in my head. I think of House Thulun (not the House Thulun) and Syndicate Rychart and Clan Zenrin. So I have been indicating those definite articles whenever I find them, suggesting they be deleted. But the real fix is to be consistant with this, not to make everything match my own head. Next -- I am not sure that telling the player that the Econ of this place is 0 is helpful. He or she can see that for themselves. What I want to know is how much econ does a place need to have before I can get a level 1 Permit. s/Star Trader/a Star Trader/ (or Star Traders) |
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Post by grävling on Mar 19, 2017 9:49:59 GMT -5
 No, O'Brien's Way is the Quadrant I am in. |
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Post by fallen on Mar 19, 2017 13:03:36 GMT -5
Thanks, all fixed.
Yes, trying to get rid of "the House Thulun". Just, already overwhelming amounts of text in this game lol.
The econ warning for permit now notes the current econ (which is important, imho) and the required econ.
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Post by grävling on Mar 19, 2017 15:17:23 GMT -5
 s/the//  s/the// s/discussion/discuss/ |
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Post by fallen on Mar 19, 2017 15:47:51 GMT -5
Thx!
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Post by grävling on Mar 20, 2017 4:41:50 GMT -5
 s/to/with/ |
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Post by grävling on Mar 20, 2017 4:47:58 GMT -5
Fresh .31 start. I have a Politician contact.  No special gear found here. Isn't the trait list rather short?  2 things here. Can we decide whether it is 'Data', 'Records', or 'Intel' (or secrets) that we are selling, and use the same term in the 2 headings on both sides, as well as in the 'Known Details' section (where it is 'Buy Intel'). I like 'Intel' best, but mostly I want them all to be the same thing. (It's ok by me if the cyan flavour text calls them secrets, date records and the like, it is Orange Titles I want to match, and that with the Politician's Known Details.) However, this particular cyan flavour text has problems, marked in red. I am so confused by what you mean here, that I cannot even offer suggestions for improvement.   Is this single-minded focus on personal hatred of de Valtos normal, or indication that there is a problem because I should get other questions that I could discuss? Shouldn't 'hate de Valtos' show up on the short trait list above?  First mission time, and I get one with a hyperjump?  Time goes on, and the single-mindedness continues, but again, not a trait mentioned ... |
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Post by grävling on Mar 20, 2017 5:16:50 GMT -5
 s/ship and crew/the ship and crew/ s/of/when/ |
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Post by fallen on Mar 20, 2017 11:29:34 GMT -5
Thanks, fixed where possible.
The mission goal display is raw at the moment without any attempt to format. It will not directly print Trait names. You are seeing Traits that you don't know. That is why the Contact has 1 Trait (Uses Assassins) ... there are at least 2-3 you don't know atm.
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Post by grävling on Mar 20, 2017 12:12:33 GMT -5
 s/grant/grants/ |
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Post by grävling on Mar 20, 2017 12:25:30 GMT -5
 s/Zone/Zones/ which makes one wonder if we want s/Quad/Quadrants/ (and what to do if there is only one of them?) |
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Post by fallen on Mar 20, 2017 12:30:07 GMT -5
Thx.
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Post by grävling on Mar 20, 2017 17:20:19 GMT -5
 I ransomed these people. I assume the message about the conscripts is already fixed as part of the fix for the confusing results earlier, as I conscripted nobody. But the message on the top seems wrong. 'We have ransomed the captain and officers from this Pirate Ship. Clan Zenrin officials arrived promptly and paid xxxx in ransom. The captain was released and the ship was returned to his command.' seems better. Except that this time, I think I KILLED the captain. So we only ransomed the officers. And the ship -- returned to the command of the surviving officers? |
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Post by fallen on Mar 20, 2017 17:55:22 GMT -5
Thx, fixed.
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Post by grävling on Mar 20, 2017 23:56:32 GMT -5
 Either that 'Cadar Syndicate' was supposed to be the name of a world, or you wanted to say 'work to do on a hostile Cadar Syndicate world' if the Connector is being cagey about the location. s/the// 'point' is overused in the sentence. I think that 'We must protect the Investigator until we can release her into the official custody of Cadar Syndicate, at which point' reads a lot better.  s/6/for 6/ +- ? (Don't we know?) How does the waiting 6 days above square with the '2 weeks, 2 days have passed,' in the bottom? |
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