I torp you with a torpedo with "Welcome to the forums" inscribed on the warhead. And because your reasons to torp the person above you was completely valid. And also because nobody expect a torpedo from the Rychart Inquisition .
I torp you to show all the young Cadarians that even Rychart Captains can say this: "Attention! Torpedo crews, bays 1 through 21, get ready! On my mark! FIRE!" And because you have the cheapest torpedoes in the Quadrant. See, jr8825, how is the real business done? Discounts for the best customers .
I torp you because I already know that! Because I am Rychart! I also attached a free 24 pack of torpedoes to the torpedo I fired at you, and a note asking if you would like a job at 4-Leaf Torpedoes Inc. Owned by yours truly.
P.s. We give discounts to everyone belonging to Rychart, only offer them for jobs, and if you / they work here, they get FREE torpedoes!
I torp myself for forgetting to mention that if you accept, your job will be blowing people up with the. 'Oh you dead' torpedo brand and other various brands for advertisement. Plus the pay is excellent.