Cleaning up the library

[johndramey]

So, decided to go through the library and clean up the grammar/spelling in there. This will be an ongoing thing, so I'll update this thread as I go through it. Eventually I'll just have all the library information collected, and once the game is released I'll post it up in the forum for an easy reference.

Anyways, I've mostly just cleaned up capitalization and added/subtracted a few words that messed with the flow of the entries.

Basic stucture for my corrections will be as follows;

Entry title

Original text

My correction

**Any comments/suggestions/questions

I've finished the Trade Route entry as of this update, which is everything in the library!

[johndramey]

Population

Arriving on smaller Hives, support Ships and transports, the refugee population of Star Trader Factions will arrive over time.

Be aware of increases in Population on your Colonies. To contribute to the economy Population requires Hab Units. Population contributes $14 Credits per Turn.

Arriving on smaller hives, support ships and transports, the refugee population of the various Star Trader factions will grow over time.

Be aware of increases in population on your colonies. To contribute to the economy, population requires hab units. Population contributes $14 credits per turn.

Construction Points (CP)
*I suggestion either changing the title to “Construction Points (CPs)” or “Construction Point (CP)”

CP are generated by Colony Upgrades such as Factories and Starports. For CP to be used, it must be activated by Population. To activate 3 CP you must have 3 Population in Hab Units.

CP can be used to construct new Colony Upgrades or Ships. When not being used for construction, CP generates income. When idle, 1 active CP will generate $10 Credits per turn.

CPs are generated by colony upgrades such as factories or starports. For CP to be used, it must be activated by population. For example, activating 3 CP requires 3 population in hab units.

CP can be used to construct new colony upgrades or ships. When idle, CP generates income at the rate of $10 credits per turn per CP.

Quality

Quality is the absolute measure of the habitability of a System. Some star’s radiation, gravity, light or size make effective colonization difficult.

The maximum number of Colony Upgrades that can be built in a System without paying a maintenance penalty is determined by the Quality score.

Quality is the absolute measure of the habitability of a system. Some stars have radiation, gravity, light or mass that make them difficult to colonize.

The maximum number of colony upgrades that can be built in a system without suffering a maintenance penalty is determined by the system’s quality score.

**If possible, could we learn what the formula for the penalty is? For instance, 1 upgrade over the quality score = X%.

Minerals

Mineral concentrations are a key factor in determining the economic viability of a System. A star’s composition, orbital bodies and stellar age all influence the value of deposits.

Mines can be used to extract Income from Minerals in a System. Mines do not require Population to activate. When mined, 1 Mineral point will generate $21 Credits per Turn.

Mineral concentrations are a key factor in determining economic viability of a system. A star’s composition, orbital bodies and stellar age all influence the value of deposits.

Mines are used to convert minerals into income within the system. Mines do not require population to activate. When mined, 1 mineral point will generate $21 credits per turn.

Upgrades

Upgrades represent substantial building operations within a System. Every Upgrade will bring its own bonuses to assist with a Colonys economy, culture, or military infrastructure.

For example, a Mine increases revenue from Minerals while a Hab Unit provides housing for a growing Population and reduces overcrowding.

Upgrades represent substantial building operations within a system. Every upgrade will bring its own bonuses to assist with a colony’s economic, cultural, or military infrastructure. **However, upgrades need to be maintained, and each upgrade will increase the colony’s overhead**

For example, a mine increases revenue from minerals while a hab unit provides housing for a growing population and reduces overcrowding.

**I added this as a warning about maintenance costs.

[Brutus Aurelius]

I believe most of the things you changed to not being capitalized were meant to be so. Other than that, good work!

[johndramey]

I thought so as well, but capitalization should really only take place for proper names. As such, "System" shouldn't be capitalized where as "the Cadar Prime System" should be. Same goes with mine, mineral, etc.

However, as with everything I do, it's totally up to Andrew and Cory if they want to use it

[johndramey]

Espionage Points (EP)
**I suggest changing this to either “Espionage Points (EPs)” or “Espionage Point (EP)”

EP are generated by Colony Upgrades such as Spice Halls, Exchanges and Palaces. These upgrades give your operatives the ability to collect intelligence and manipulate Faction affairs.

EP are used to advanced Diplomatic Efforts which create or modify Conflicts or Rumors. EP do not require Population to activate.

EPs are generated by colony upgrades such as spice halls, exchanges and palaces. These upgrades give your operatives the ability to collect intelligence and manipulate faction affairs.

EPs are used to advance diplomatic efforts which create or modify conflicts and rumors. EPs do not require population to activate.

Research Points (RP)
**I suggest changing this to either “Research Points (RPs)” or “Research Point (RP)”

RP are generated by Colony Upgrades such as Spice Halls and Palaces. These upgrades give your agents access to Faction knowledge that has been brought from the Core.

RP are used to advance Research Projects which grant access to all buildable game elements. RP do not require Population to activate.

RPs are generated by colony upgrades such as spice halls and palaces. These upgrades restore your agents access to faction knowledge that has been brought from the Core.

**I changed the word “give” to “restore” since, as far as I understand, the technology we are researching isn’t really new per se. Instead, we are sort of… backward engineering logs/existing technology/stories/etc to get knowledge that was lost when we bugged out of the Core. Correct me if I’m wrong

Morale

Morale represents the general attitude among the solar system’s Population towards the Senate and Factions - from happy and motivated to enraged and rioting.

Unhappy systems are less productive and cost more to maintain, so it is to your benefit to keep your people happy. Insufficient housing is one of the biggest causes of Morale drop.

Morale represents the general attitude among a star system’s population toward the Senate and factions - from happy and motivated to enraged and rioting.

Unhappy systems are less productive and cost more to maintain, so it is to your benefit to keep your people happy. Insufficient housing is one of the biggest causes of demoralization.

Factories

To satisfy military and colonial demand for manufactured goods and advanced materials, the Star Traders must develop Factory infrastructure and employ Population to operate it.

The primary output of a Factory is CP, however, advanced manufacturing operations can produce valuable outputs such as RP and TP.

In order to satisfy demand for civil and military goods and materials, Star Traders have developed industrial infrastructure, in the form of factories, that is employed by a colony’s population.

The primary output of factories are CPs, however, advanced manufacturing operations can produce valuable byproducts in the form of RPs or trade CPs.

**I changed TP to trade CP because that is how it is referred to in the game.

Mines

Vast mineral processing infrastructure is required to process the potential wealth of a System’s orbital bodies, asteroids and terrestrial mineral deposits.

The basic outcome of harvesting Minerals is Income, however, advanced mining operations can produce secondary benefits such as valuable trade goods or rare scientific discoveries.

Vast mineral processing infrastructure is required to exploit the potential wealth of a system’s various orbital bodies, whether they be located on planets or asteroids.

The basic byproduct of extracting minerals is income. Advances in mining operations can produce secondary benefits such as RPs or trade CPs.

**Changed a couple things in here. Process to exploit just to avoid redundancy. Changed the bottom around for a couple reasons (terrestrial literally means “on Earth,” and.. well.. none of them are on Earth) “valuable trade goods and rare scientific discoveries” are probably trade CPs and RPs, right?

[John Robinson]

johndramey

I've been struggling with the numbers your editing is easier to understand.

When you mentioned;

**If possible, could we learn what the formula for the penalty is? For instance, 1 upgrade over the quality score = X%.

I found this in the Pound Drum thread. I really don't understand how these numbers are calculated I would like to know what your take on it is.

A Quality 15 System can hold 15 upgrades.
A Quality 20 System can hold 20 upgrades.

A Quality 15 System will pay at 6.6% Maintenance fee for every 1 Quality Point over 15.
A Quality 20 System will pay at 5.0% Maintenance fee for every 1 Quality Point over 20.

----

Each Colony is processed individually in terms of Maintenance Cost. Each one is calculated and then the results of each Colony are then added up.

This is because each Colony may have unique problems or be impacted differently by the political scene.

Great work as usual Thanks 

[johndramey]

The Spice

The universal intoxicant of choice among Spacers and Gravers alike, the spice comes in two forms, refined and unrefined. Trade is almost exclusively of the unrefined type.

Depending on how it is refined and consumed, Spice has a very wide range of different effects. From euphoria to prescience, the esoteric preparations are mostly illegal by Shalun Law.

The universal intoxicant of choice among spacers and gravers alike, spice comes in two forms, refined and unrefined. Trade is almost exclusively made up of unrefined spice.

Depending on how it is refined and consumed, spice can have a very wide range of effects. Anything from euphoria to prescience can occur, and as such the esoteric preparations are mostly illegal by Shalun Law.

**Changed “the spice” to “spice” just to keep the tone throughout the entry

Colony Hives

Colony Hives were built during the Great Construction to move the Star Traders from the war torn Galactic Core to the distant stars of the Farfallen Rim. They are vast ships holding hundreds of thousands of souls.

We now know that something went terribly wrong during the initial gravity jump. How many Hives were lost or sent off track, we do not know. However, our Hives are lost and far from charted space.

The colony hives were built during the Great Construction in order to move the Star Traders from the war torn Galactic Core to the distant stars of the Farfallen Rim. They are vast ships which hold hundreds of thousands of souls each.

We now know that something went terribly wrong during the initial gravity jump. We may never know how many hives were lost or sent off track. However, our hives are far from charted space.

**Again, small adjustments to the overall writing. Tried to preserve the tone

Colony Ships

Colony Ships are small settlement ships built by the Factions following the Founding. Tiny by comparison to the Colony Hives, these small Transport ships bring the bare essentials to a new Colony site.

When a new Colony is settled, refugees who were planning to land on an existing world will take advantage of the opportunity to settle in a new System

Colony ships are small settlement ships built by the factions following the Founding. Tiny in comparison to their hive forefathers, these small transport ships only bring the bare essentials to a new colony site.

When a new colony is settled, refugees often choose to redirect their journeys to land on them rather than established worlds and thus take advantage of the opportunities found in a new system.

**Added a little extra flavor to the bottom, but otherwise just cleaned

Fighters

Fighter class ships represent the smallest vessels capable of standing in battle as main line participants. Lightly armed and armored Fighters are fast craft capable of hit and run battle.

Usually designed to inexpensive to maintain, Fighters are also easy to repair. Due to their small size and easily replaced Components, Fighters can be repaired by Carriers at any point during a Battle.

Fighter class ships represent the smallest vessels capable of contributing in space warfare. Lightly armed and armored, fighters are fast craft that are best suited to hit and run tactics.

Fighters also tend to be designed with ease of maintenance in mind, and as such are relatively inexpensive to maintain. Due to their small size and universal design, fighters can be repaired by carriers even during the heat of battle.

**Small adjustments to the bottom flavor text.

Carriers

Carrier class ships are large, reactor focused vessels primarily deployed for support and hypersonic warfare. Carriers are armed by long range anti-ship Torpedoes and Repair Bays.

Fleets that make effective use of Carrier class Ships will pay less maintenance. Repair and Refuel of Fighters with Carriers costs less than paying the Factions to repair them in green sectors.

Carrier class ships, large vessels built primarily around huge reactors, are mainly deployed for support and hypersonic warfare. Carriers are outfitted with long range anti-ship torpedoes and repair bays.

Fleets that make effective use of carriers will often find themselves paying less maintenance. Carriers are able to repair and refuel fighters for much less cost than the factions charge for their services.

Cruisers

Cruise class ships are sleek, fast hunting vessels that can be designed to fill nearly any fleet role, from scouting and interception to main line battle. A range of armor and weaponry make them very flexible.

Cruisers are armed with a primary Railgun and secondary hyperspace Torpedo. The designs can be enhanced with heavy armor. Be cautious, Cruisers can be expensive compared to Fighters.

Sleek and multi-role, the cruiser class ship is the workhorse of the fleet. Cruisers, which can mount a wide variety of offensive and defensive systems, can be designed to do anything the fleet demands of them, from scouting and interception to main line battle.

Cruisers can be armed with either both railgun and hyperspace torpedo systems and can be further enhanced with heavy armor. Be aware, cruisers are generally more expensive to maintain than their fighter counterparts.

**I actually made some big changes to this section. Feedback would be appreciated.

Edicts of Shalun

For centuries the Star Traders were held captive, deceived by the dark forces of the Narvidians and their thralls. Shalun freed the Zendu, founded the Templars and rescued the Star Traders.

As proclaimed in the Edicts of Shalun, you are the anointed guardian of these Hives and the Systems in which they land. This is a sacred responsibility, held for generations by our bloodlines.

For centuries the Star Traders were held captive and deceived by the dark forces of the Narvidians and their thralls. Shalun freed the Zendu, founded the Templars and rescued the Star Traders.

As proclaimed by the Edicts of Shalun, you are the anointed guardian of these hives and the systems in which they land. This is a sacred responsibility, and one that has been held for generations by your bloodlines.

**Changed the final “our bloodlines” to “your bloodlines” because I think you are trying to make the player feel like the emperor, as if the advisor is talking to them. Am I right in this assumption?

Trade Route
**I suggest pluralizing this to match the other entries, “Trade Routes”

Trade Routes occur when two Factions agree to establish a protected route to move valuable trade goods between them. This arrangement benefits both Factions.

Trade Routes increase the value of Idle CP by $2. Increase Income generated from Trade by $2 per Trade per Turn.

Trade routes occur when two factions agree to the establishment of a protected path which facilitates the movement of trade goods between them. This arrangement has financial benefits for both factions.

Trade routs increase the value of idle CPs by $2 per turn as well as increasing income generated from trade by $2 per trade point per turn.

**Not sure about the bottom, please check it. My understanding is that trade routes boost idle CP by $2/turn as well as giving a straight $2/turn per trade point. That right? Also, a small question. Are trade points and trade CP the same? I’m guessing they are, but not 100% sure.

[johndramey]

That finishes out all of the current library entries. Would Cory Trese or fallen mind skimming through all of these and letting me know if a)they are ok and b)you'd like me to work on the other game text? I was thinking of combing through all of the announcements and the adivsor's text and doing a similar proofread. Don't want to go through all of that if you guys don't like the work

John Robinson - Thanks for the words of encouragement. I'm sure you saw Cory's explanation in your thread on colony management, but I'll post it here anyway!

It currently seems that the maintenance penalty is a straight up percentage score based on (total upgrades)/(quality score). So, for example, for a quality 10 colony you will pay 10% extra maintenance for each point over 10 you go (11/10 = 110%, 12/10 = 120%, etc). This is totally independent of morale and political event modifiers though

[Cory Trese]

That is great work. I applied *most* of the suggestions.

Many game turns remain capitalized which we intended.

The goal of this slightly odd formatting is intended to work as it does in technical writing, which is to highlight the specific game terms.

Remarkable effort. If you would like to start with dumps of the game text, so you do not need to get it from the UI, please, just ask!

[Cory Trese]

I have eliminated "Trade CP" in favor of "Trade Point (TP)"

[johndramey]

Cool, I'll edit my posts

[Cory Trese]

Jun 3, 2014 1:25:17 GMT -5 johndramey said:

Cool, I'll edit my posts

I can dump you the excel if you'd like

[johndramey]

If you have the time and you don't mind sharing, that would make it much easier As it is I just type out all the entries while looking at them.

In other news, I just noticed new entries get added as you research new things. Looks like I'm not actually completed

[Cory Trese]

Please, please please highlight any cells you change.

PS: Feel free to write the missing ones muhahahhaa =)

Attachments:

library.xlsx (13.33 KB)

[Cory Trese]

If anyone ever wanted to peek behind the curtain at how I make this type of stuff, this excel sheet is read into our build system and is how I actually edit and developed the Library content.

This file is ripped apart and put inside the APK in a database format, but Excel makes it easier to edit and spell check.