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Post by grävling on Nov 17, 2014 8:14:37 GMT -5
s/committed to the deeps/committed to the deep/
s/Their is an unhappy/There is an unhappy/
/There is a sour air as everyone picks back up their work/Resentfully, everyone goes back to work./ (Or something. It is hard here to know if the stink is metaphorical or not. Also 'picks back up their work' makes it sound like something you could drop, like a cask....)
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Post by grävling on Nov 17, 2014 8:15:18 GMT -5
s/the two agrieved/the two aggrieved/
s/None want/No one wants/
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Post by grävling on Nov 17, 2014 8:22:48 GMT -5
s/offguard/off guard/ (or off-guard)
s/ring leader/ringleader/
I think you would be happier with:
Your strong words does not cow them, and they stare back defiantly with flinty eyes.
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Post by grävling on Nov 17, 2014 8:54:09 GMT -5
Loyal Soldier & Master Soldier& Elite Soldier & Veteran Soldier (every one of them is wrong, probably a cut and paste problem where you copied the wrong text) s/Comission/Commission/
Elite Solider & Veteran Soldier (both wrong)
s/less than/fewer than/
And I actually think that it is '9 or fewer' (no more than 9) and '15 or fewer' (no more than 15) -- at any rate I seem to have received the award and I am pretty sure I rejected 9 of them to check this.
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Post by fallen on Nov 25, 2014 17:25:24 GMT -5
Thanks, all fixed!
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Post by grävling on Dec 2, 2014 12:14:24 GMT -5
Elite Solider & Veteran Soldier (both wrong) s/less than/fewer than/ And I actually think that it is '9 or fewer' (no more than 9) and '15 or fewer' (no more than 15) -- at any rate I seem to have received the award and I am pretty sure I rejected 9 of them to check this. The text using 'less' is still here. s/less/fewer/ I would change it to: No more than 9 Commissions may be rejected, failed, or allowed to expire. and No more than 15 Commissions may be rejected, failed, or allowed to expire. |
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Post by fallen on Dec 2, 2014 13:30:30 GMT -5
Moved to the typo thread for 1.3.1 and closing up this thread.
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