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Post by sgtcookie on Oct 23, 2011 8:26:40 GMT -5
Cory recently posted that he needs help in making a video, an advert for star traders. I have an idea as to what I could do.
It is a fusion of live action and a Star Trader battle. The live action part will be the Captain, me, giving orders to a bridge crew of about three people and the head of boarding operations. The ST battle will be an ST battle that I will gladly do. The battle and live action will be fused together, I give a live action order, the battle obeys it.
I am going to be writing a script for this, but what I need is your help, I need to know who would be in what position. The most advanced prop that will be needed is a computer.
So, who would be willing to be filmed for the video? The positions are: Captain: Sgt. Cookie Pilot: Gunner: Scanner operator: Head of boarding operations (Voice only): Cory
Each person's lines will be divided into sections, each section will be a different clip that will be spliced into the video. This script will tell you the beginning and end of a section. If you could split them up yourself, that would be helpful. If you are unable or unwilling to do so, leave about three seconds between each clip.
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Post by sgtcookie on Oct 23, 2011 9:56:16 GMT -5
The script in it's entirety, names in all capitals will be replaced by the name (Or preferred name):
[During lines, always cut back to Live action]
[Scene opens with the back of a computer screen and the face of the scanner operator. Scanner op looks surprised.]
SCANNER OP: [Sitting in chair, looks behind] Captain! Steel Song ship just came up on our scanner. They do not appear to have spotted us yet. But, what is a SS ship doing so far into De Valtos territory?
[Cut to ingame clip of a Steel song merchant vessel]
Cookie: [Sitting on a sofa chair] I don't know. What are they carrying?
SCANNER OP: Not much beyond normal merchant vessel, but it's trying to stay low. Even more so than a normal vessel. Smugglers, perhaps?
Cookie: Probably, [Turns head, cuts to PILOT, back of PILOT's head, looking at a computer screen] PILOT, get us in range. I want at least a thousand KM between us. [CTIGC of the battle starting] [Cut back to live action] [Cookie reaches off screen] Cookie: HOBO, get your men ready. We will be boarding a ship soon.
HOBO [Voice only]: Aye aye, Captain. RIGHT YOU SCURVY DOGS...
Cookie: GUNNER, get ready, PILOT, begin attack course.
[GUNNER and PILOT both begin tapping at keyboards]
Cookie: GUNNER, send a couple of Torps, let em know we are here.
[CTIGC, cut to ingame clip, of the player ship firing Torps at the enemy ship]
Cookie: PILOT get us in closer. GUNNER, make preparations to fire on the enemy engines.
GUNNER: [Looking at computer screen] Aye aye, Captain.
[CTIGC of the ships closing in, player ship fires on enemy ship's engines until down]
Cookie: HOBO, have your men ready at the air lock, we are ready to board. PILOT, get us within boarding distance.
PILOT: [Sharp continuous exhale, about three seconds] Done, Cap'n. Boarding clamps set.
Cookie: HOBO, you may begin boarding. Have the enemy crew lined up in the corridor.
HOBO (Voice only): Aye aye.
[Camera on Cookie, wait about ten seconds]
Cookie: So, HOBO. What's on board?
HOBO (VO): Too much to tell Cap'n, You will need to have a look when we are done here.
[CTIGC of the cargo transfer.]
Cookie: Good, when you are finished HOBO plant the charges. PILOT, when they return get five thousand KM away. SCANNER OP, message a local salvage company. Tell them that a ship will be available for them. When you are done send a message to De Valtos prime. Tell the prince's consul that the prince's favorite captain has a little gift.
SCANNER OP: Aye, aye.
[CTIGC of the other ship being destroyed, fly to De Valtos prime.]
Cookie: PILOT, take us in. HOBO, get the crew ready to go to the exchange, we have a lot of things to do.
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Post by fallen on Oct 24, 2011 13:49:10 GMT -5
lol. We can obviously only support this effort!
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Post by Cory Trese on Oct 26, 2011 22:33:06 GMT -5
I'll be the head of boarding operations
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Fenikso
Templar
[ Star Traders 2 & Elite Supporter ]
Nobody expects the Rychart Inquisition!
Posts: 753
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Post by Fenikso on Oct 27, 2011 8:44:25 GMT -5
Mr. Sergeant, Sir... Are you up to some constructive critique or not?
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Post by sgtcookie on Oct 27, 2011 11:16:45 GMT -5
@cory: Added @fen: Of course. I threw this together in about twenty minutes so, sure.
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Fenikso
Templar
[ Star Traders 2 & Elite Supporter ]
Nobody expects the Rychart Inquisition!
Posts: 753
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Post by Fenikso on Oct 27, 2011 12:46:13 GMT -5
Do not take me wrong, but story-wise it is very week and boring. Good story, even if it is 5 minutes commercial, needs surprise and conflict. If you are not throwing in state-of-the-art special effect like in Star Wars (which I think you are not ;D) it has to be interesting and dramatic. I would think of a few points: - They are not smugglers, but masked bounty hunters
- Somebody will point out that it "smells" or they "fell something's wrong Cap'", but nobody listens
- At some point the peace of cake operation will change to thrilling fight for survivor
- One of the main characters will die - maybe the boarding party may get ambushed (dying "on radio" is easy to do )
- Every character needs strong / funny personality shown very quickly (Pilot smokes Spice when flying, Captain has 23 Steel Song medals on his neck, Navigator has old school compass next to his monitor etc.)
Something along the lines which will catch people and make them want to know how it ends.
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