Post by Vae Victus on Apr 23, 2016 1:05:18 GMT -5
PC
Normal Difficulty
Text Correction Suggestions:
Righteous Fallen: Patrol Orbit
1.
"The Faction's five core worlds each has a basic Starport..."
TO
"The Factions' five core worlds each have a basic Starport..."
OR
"Each of the Factions' five core worlds have a basic Starport..."
2.
there was a dropped word in the first conversation option with Major Luthor (regarding recovering salvage from the Ferari Lance). I clicked through, so I don't remember the exact phrase but one of the player's Captain's responses is cut off by Major Luthor. The next line is something like "ha!".
If Major Luthor's cut off of your words is intentional, maybe a hyphen would make it look less abrupt?
3. Conversation with Paladin Nyra:
"...she and her surviving crew were in the middle months of a harrowing trial."
This phrasing seems a little odd: "middle months" ? Maybe instead: "...in the midst of a harrowing trial." OR "...were beset by a harrowing trial." OR something else.
4. Paladin Nyra
"...fire with which they are playing.."
It has two periods. Either change to one to make it a period or three to make it an ellipse?
5.
"...eventually subjugated to their new..."
This may be up to debate, but I believe it would be more proper to state "eventually subjugated by their new..."
Source: sentence.yourdictionary.com/subjugated
Has some sample sentences:
For BY:
"In 616 Syria was subjugated for a brief period by the Persian Choroes II.;"
For TO:
The body was wholly subjugated to the mind.
SOURCE: www.thesaurus.com/browse/subjugated
"So utterly was he subjugated by her presence that she did not even run the risk of his passion."
----
Cutscene after Righteous Fallen: Patrol Orbit:
I think the following should probably be changed:
"No sign of either of the Star Traders..."
TO
"No sign of either groups of Star Traders..."
OR
"No sign of either of the Star Trader groups, the..."
I have seen a few other minor issues in other cutscenes, but they play too fast for me to catch everything with edits--does someone here have a thread with all of the cutscene text? (unlikely, but I figure it is worth a try). I could proof that if it is desired.
Normal Difficulty
Text Correction Suggestions:
Righteous Fallen: Patrol Orbit
1.
"The Faction's five core worlds each has a basic Starport..."
TO
"The Factions' five core worlds each have a basic Starport..."
OR
"Each of the Factions' five core worlds have a basic Starport..."
2.
there was a dropped word in the first conversation option with Major Luthor (regarding recovering salvage from the Ferari Lance). I clicked through, so I don't remember the exact phrase but one of the player's Captain's responses is cut off by Major Luthor. The next line is something like "ha!".
If Major Luthor's cut off of your words is intentional, maybe a hyphen would make it look less abrupt?
3. Conversation with Paladin Nyra:
"...she and her surviving crew were in the middle months of a harrowing trial."
This phrasing seems a little odd: "middle months" ? Maybe instead: "...in the midst of a harrowing trial." OR "...were beset by a harrowing trial." OR something else.
4. Paladin Nyra
"...fire with which they are playing.."
It has two periods. Either change to one to make it a period or three to make it an ellipse?
5.
"...eventually subjugated to their new..."
This may be up to debate, but I believe it would be more proper to state "eventually subjugated by their new..."
Source: sentence.yourdictionary.com/subjugated
Has some sample sentences:
For BY:
"In 616 Syria was subjugated for a brief period by the Persian Choroes II.;"
For TO:
The body was wholly subjugated to the mind.
SOURCE: www.thesaurus.com/browse/subjugated
"So utterly was he subjugated by her presence that she did not even run the risk of his passion."
----
Cutscene after Righteous Fallen: Patrol Orbit:
I think the following should probably be changed:
"No sign of either of the Star Traders..."
TO
"No sign of either groups of Star Traders..."
OR
"No sign of either of the Star Trader groups, the..."
I have seen a few other minor issues in other cutscenes, but they play too fast for me to catch everything with edits--does someone here have a thread with all of the cutscene text? (unlikely, but I figure it is worth a try). I could proof that if it is desired.
