Post by Vae Victus on Apr 24, 2016 22:05:05 GMT -5
PC Normal Difficulty Prime: Starport Vault
Text Correction Suggestions:
1. Too many behinds...-> OLD "If the Narvidians are behind the xeno behind this first wave, then there will be one of their kind among them." TO (possibly the below, or another change that eliminates the double use of 'behind') "If the Narvidians are behind this first wave of xeno, then we will find one of their ilk here."
2. A suggestion (not an error, but I think the suggestion may be better) "The roar of battle is behind us and before us now." TO "The roar of battle is now both behind us and before us." OR (changes the meaning slightly-I prefer this option, though) "The roar of battle is behind us, and before us, there is death."
3. An Event: "There must have been a technologist doctor passing through the starport..." TO "All these medical supplies; The Faction Defense Forces must have been stockpiling them here to hand out to refugees" OR (closer to the original; I prefer the above) "A doctor's entourage must have passed through this starport"
-I will plan to place text correction suggestion information in a single thread going forward (or at least until the next version number; whatever is most helpful for you).
-Re: suggestion 3... understood; that said, the event as written does not seem to be a grammatical sentence, so maybe something can be done with it. (note however that I did not type out the whole sentence, so I may be wrong in my assertion that the sentence is not grammatically correct--but based on the snippet I wrote above, it is not grammatically correct).
Last Edit: Apr 25, 2016 0:38:08 GMT -5 by Vae Victus
the easiest thing is to do the v2.1.9 thread, and then when v2.1.11 comes out, start a v2.1.11 thread.
Certainly; I will do that!
A Technologist Doctor is a profession in ST. Is that the confusion?
Even if the word technologist is removed from the sentence, it reads oddly. Would someone on the street say: "there must have been a doctor passing through the starport..."; I think they would be more likely to say: "A doctor must have passed through the starport" or: "A doctor must have been passing through the starport..."
OLD: "There must have been a technologist doctor passing through the starport..." SUGGEST: "A Technologist Doctor must have passed through the starport..."
Last Edit: Apr 25, 2016 0:56:46 GMT -5 by Vae Victus