Questions about Slaves

[poryg]

It's been like this ever since I was small
I am a bastard son... And on top of that, my development has been neglected. Mother had no time for me, because she had hands full of taking care of my stepbrother.
However, when I was a baby, mother couldn't let go of me without me reacting to that badly I wanted contact and when I didn't have it, I demanded it
As I grew up, I had a lack of friends... So I wasted time on the internet having no goal to pursue. I realized my goal just recently... But well, it's quite late now. My impressive learning capabilities have already weakened a great deal... And so has my limitless time.
And because there was nobody to cultivate me... I have developed my own morale. My own values. And my own character. There is much darkness inside me that nobody can see through... Not even me.
It's not that I am bad though. I am not bad, not good. I am different... But so different that people are scared of me... Especially the closed minded Czechs. Because, even though I have changed a great deal... My perversion for physical contact has never disappeared. In fact it has only strengthened. To the point where it's scary for even my friends... And even an innocent thing like brushing hair can scare them when it's connected to me.
Well, maybe I should have become a hair stylist... I would have gotten to play with hair all day :3 But it has one flaw... Well, two flaws. First is, I didn't have this problem between 9 and 17 years of age, in fact, this was a period when I actually avoided contact (until I met my gf), and second is, I can't stand men

As for the hugs... I agree, when cuddling is involved, it can easily grow wild... But I am good in manipulating things... I am good in manipulating myself as well. It's just a pity that Czech girls are the way they are... In other words you can't trust them, because they say one thing and do exactly the opposite...

As for the sadness... I have spent all my life fighting against the dangers my life has put me through... I have learned to transform feelings and emotions inside me. Sadness, broken heart.. I can use all this to feed my rage when I need it... Or to make my heart sturdier. Then I just go to sleep... And after I wake up, I am like nothing happened. When the situation is bad, instead of calming down, I cause myself a mental breakdown... And after a good night's sleep I am completely rebooted like a computer after blue screen of death...

Sorry to the entire forum for this weird confession

[En1gma]

Sounds like some character in a novel.

Shadowy kid raises himself in a harsh world, puts up his walls to that world and teaches himself everything he needs to know. Has an odd affinity for cuddling.

[poryg]

Haha
But yeah, some people told me that I can't possibly exist elsewhere than in their heads
I will have to finish it then... It's not just an affinity for cuddling. It's just that I love taking care of a female body. It's like a treasure to me...  
Yesterday I was so depressed over how long has it been since I have last brushed a girl's hair... 
And I guess it's already awkward enough

[En1gma]

There are few, if any, proper substitutes for human contact. Animals could never cut it for me, and though I thoroughly enjoy my own company and a measure of solitude, nothing in this world could replace my wife and children's embraces.

How did we get here from the talk of slavery? I blame ntsheep, naturally

[poryg]

I always know how to change topics

[ntsheep]

Be careful about summoning the sheep, if number three takes a liking to this thread you're all in major trouble.

On a more serious note, we all have needs. Some good, some bad. How we handle them is the trick to life. Luckily, humans are very good at learning when they need to be, and sometimes it may be a non human that can teach us the most.

[wascalwywabbit]

Oct 21, 2016 7:59:03 GMT -5 En1gma said:

Sounds like some character in a novel.

Shadowy kid raises himself in a harsh world, puts up his walls to that world and teaches himself everything he needs to know. Has an odd affinity for cuddling.

Don't forget brushing girl's hair...

[wascalwywabbit]

Oct 21, 2016 10:28:50 GMT -5 En1gma said:

There are few, if any, proper substitutes for human contact. Animals could never cut it for me, and though I thoroughly enjoy my own company and a measure of solitude, nothing in this world could replace my wife and children's embraces.

How did we get here from the talk of slavery? I blame ntsheep, naturally

Ditto for me on the first point. Although there are other human endeavors to satisfy one's soul if they have different perspectives... Choice of focus is always an option as long as you've full human cognitive faculties. Even compulsive behaviors have potential to change, that's important for personal responsibly.

As for getting on the subject, desires make us all their slaves... 'Tis why an exercise of will and mediation practices are so important to learn along with all the other useful life skills. Support from good community (like this one here:), and professionals if necessary, can certainly help.

[wascalwywabbit]

Oct 21, 2016 6:03:26 GMT -5 poryg said:

Sorry to the entire forum for this weird confession

Don't be sorry, I'm glad to know you better.

Your youth sounds something like mine, with personal differences of course. The internet is for weird people like us, don't mind making use of it in a supportive community.

Nothing about what you've said seems super unusual to me though. Bottom line as long as you're safe for yourself and others being a little weird keeps things interesting in life in a good way. Just find healthy outlets before too many unfruitful frustrations lead to harmful outlets. Some physical health techniques and therapies have been found to moderate frustrated impulses some too, that's an option.

I might reply more after I'm on something better than my phone.

Take care of yourself, pal.