Conversations overheard in the DV Prime Spice Hall

[ntsheep]

"Just what the hell has been going on around here!"

"What do you mean?"

"I am talking about the fact that half of quadrants communication networks have been hacked and are showing nothing but cat photos and videos. I am going to find that yahoo and give him whats what."

"Would you prefer Ntsheep was torping you?"

"What does he have to do with this?"

"The quadrant is pretty darn dangerous, a few captains like slayernz and Ntsheep, have decided to make it their job to put a little funny back in it."

"I got pirated by Ntsheep during a solar war, aside from the sheep heads hat, there's nothing funny about him."

"Not true, I'm about to laugh over something he's going to do."

"What do mean!? Your not making any sense at all."

"He's about to hit you over the head with a bottle of vudka."

"WHAT,,,"

Before the man could turn around, a heavy glass bottle shattered into many pieces as it hit him.

"Sorry about the mess," said Ntsheep, "I rather like the cat photos."

[CdrPlatypus]

"One torpedo...two torpedo"

[slayernz]

"Three torpedo Four"

"Five torpedo...six torpedo...seven torpedo... BOOM"

[crackshotcerberus]

Heh, sounds like my last trip above xeen prime.

[Jacob]

Sept 23, 2014 16:22:23 GMT -5 crackshotcerberus said:

Heh, sounds like my last trip above xeen prime.

Sure? All these weird voices let me think I AM on a Trip... Sheep's smashing Vudka Bottles over peoples heads... Hell!

Sent from my rooted Falcon

[ntsheep]

"Their torping photos of ntsheep in the torp war now."

"Do you think their trying to get him back?"

"Don't know. I did hear the lesleyr told ntsheep she didn't accept his surrender and to get back there and start fighting like a true sheep."

"Fight like a true sheep! Since when did sheep fight to begin with!"

"This could change things, the last time ntsheep was gone for almost a year, he came back with a vengeance of sorts!"

"Yeah, that top ten reasons was pretty funny, but those new weapons were even weirder."

"All I know is the quadrant gets nervous when ntsheep makes plots. He's up to something, we better watch out."

[slayernz]

"ntsheep had better get his tail back to the Torp war pretty quickly, there is a cat that is chomping at the bit to have an encounter"

"Sheep are too big for a cat to take on"

"You'd be surprised. .. This cat is even pondering at making an excursion out of the Torp war and into threads ntsheep resides in if he doesn't rejoin the torp thread"

"haha that'd be a sight, ... but wait, wouldn't that spill our drinks?"

[ntsheep]

"Well I hope their happy! Now he's flying around in some damn transforming train terrorizing space!"

"Yeah but when it gets to 88 MPH, you see some serious shit!"

[CdrPlatypus]

"There is a fan at the end of the universe and the drek's about to hit it"

[ntsheep]

[over P.A]

"Attention campers, afternoon swim schedule is as follows. Advanced dolphins, report to the dock for survival swimming and I.Q. testing. All senior silverfish, meet on the beach for nude sunbathing. All junior salmon, trout, and herring, report to the nearest delicatessen. And 6-year-old tadpoles, report to the swamp. And all lobsters, GET OUT OF HERE! YOU'RE A MENACE!"

[ntsheep]

"Is that a bra you're wearing, or are you expecting an assassination attempt?"

[slayernz]

"Mmmmmm Lobster. I really like how they taste, but sometimes they are a bit too crunchy for my liking"

"Crunchy? Once you get the meat out of the shell, it can be really delicious and there shouldn't be any hard bits at all"

"What shell? I thought that was just a red skin that you were meant to eat!"

[ntsheep]

"So what do you know about Officer Genious."

"Well she's a top notch pilot and captain, and a former guest Cadar."

"Former? You mean she was kicked out of the academy?"

"Yes. They needed a scapegoat for the "Incident"."

"What "Incident"?"

"Well it was her first day as a radar tech when the miniaturized cylindrical meat by-products and hygiene items fell from the sky."

Giggles, "You just can't say it can you."

Blank stare, "What?"

Giggles again, "Mini wienies and toilet paper."

[virtualrock]

"I welcome you all to the second annual explorer's meeting."
"Now I've seen people look down on exploring and say that is was for pussies but we know that only real man can handle it."
"I lost 18 arms, 8 eyeballs, 5 legs, 15 fingers, been poisoned five times, and I have some weird alien plant growing on my back."
"Now don't even get me started on what happened to my brother Steve, that stuff is the reason for why I wake up with a brown spot on my undies."
"My point is that each explorer has lost their limbs at least 8 times in their career."
"Now I don't see any military officers visiting the doctor 16 times a day so to be honest they are the real pussies."
A large round of applause erupts from everyone in the crowd except for Timmy who still has to get his arms back together.

[Officer Genious]

"Sir, we have radar hits and--"

Captain Gallus clicked on the intercom to the radar control room with a gesture that was more lazy than hurried. "Who's this again?"

Someone sighed on the other end. "Radar Officer Genious, sir. Reporting to Captain Gallus that we have unusual pings on radar."

Gallus smiled. He did so love being the Captain, even if he seemed to get political rejects and morons for underlings. "And what are these unusual pings, Ensign--"

"Officer." He could almost hear her bristling. "And you should probably be a little more concerned about what I'm saying."

Gallus rolled his eyes. "Which is...?"

"There are unusual shapes returning to our sensors. Oblong shapes and some like thick cylinders. No heat or electronic signatures, and no obvious point of origin."

"Space rocks?"

"No," she said with forced calm, "Not space rocks. If I had to guess sir, I'd say ntsheep has just been here."

Tom Dicklarry, who had just gotten off piloting duty, laughed out loud as he overheard the officer o. the intercom. Gallus grinned, motioned him to be quiet and leaned in, his eyes aglow. "And what would these shapes be then, Officer Genious?"

A deep breath. "No signatures, and a few have stretched into tissue-thin strips and burst into tiny pieces on contact with space debris," she mumbled, squeaking her chair as she leaned back, "differing echoes when radar bounces off the shapes... I can't confirm, but something like toilet tissue and meat product." Pause. "Sir."

Gallus roared, punctuated by the high, hyena-like laughs of Tim Dicklarry and any other crew member in earshot. "Really? Genious, eh? More like Officer STUPID! That's the dumbest thing I ever heard!! You shouldn't even be an Ensign, you should be running our comedy troup--"

A hologram flickered to life on Gallus's desk, with the normally stern face of Admiral Bossi. Today though, he was absolutely livid.

"Captain Gallus it is raining weinies and toilet tissue from YOUR SECTOR, and lo and behold I have no warning from you. What do you have to say for yourself!?"

In the silence, Gallus could almost hear the grim satisfaction of Officer Genious on the intercom line he didn't shut off in time. The wide eyes of his crew stared at him through the blue haze of the hologram. An idea popped into his head like a miracle.

It was time someone took one for the team. "I believe Officer Genious was in charge of our radar department, and I heard nothing from her," he lied smoothly.

"You rat bast--" CLICK.

"Yes Sir, I will give you my report." The hologram vanished, and Gallus casually erased the call from Officer Genious from the ship logs. He looked back at his crew. "Well? Back to work, everyone! No one's going to do our jobs for us!"