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Post by grävling on Mar 28, 2017 2:24:05 GMT -5
The first part is wrong. Make up your mind. Are you sneaking the sabateur into or out of the district? It sure looks like he is in the district and wants out, given the options we are given, but that is not what the text says. He's not Mysterious Passenger. Violent Misdiection is missing the text which tells you what captain's skill + attribute save is to be used. I don't know what 'feign an affort' is. Feign an affray? I think what you want to to is 'cause a disturbance', but I might be misunderstanding. 'affort' isn't a word. 'effort' is, but doesn't seem to fit there. And this option makes it sound like the Saboteur wants to slip away into the district while the FDF are distracted. But the next option -- well, he is still not Mysterious Passenger, but here he is trying to get out of the district. So it is all still confused, as written.
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Post by grävling on Mar 28, 2017 5:27:42 GMT -5
ex-explorer advertises Black Market, but mine had none. Or is this because I don't have any smugglers or pirates on board?
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Post by fallen on Mar 28, 2017 10:07:55 GMT -5
grävling - Retired Explorers offer Black Market sometimes, only based on Traits. Fixed the display.
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Post by fallen on Mar 28, 2017 10:14:01 GMT -5
Updated the Dusk Op description. The goal is to sneak the passenger through the tightly controlled Star Traders' district and then out past the security into the free zone. I have worked on better communicating that.
I have no idea how you are getting Mysterious Passenger still. Are you playing on 1.0.33? The phrase does not appear in a search of the entire game's code base. It has been completely scrubbed out.
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Post by grävling on Mar 28, 2017 10:19:15 GMT -5
Updated the Dusk Op description. The goal is to sneak the passenger through the tightly controlled Star Traders' district and then out past the security into the free zone. I have worked on better communicating that. I have no idea how you are getting Mysterious Passenger still. Are you playing on 1.0.33? The phrase does not appear in a search of the entire game's code base. It has been completely scrubbed out. I am playing 1.0.33 but it is possible that this screen came from before that, as I had 2 from 1.0.31 to insert when the game changed. I thought I had them carefully stuffed away under 'check and see if fixed in 33' -- I have a directory of those, full of reported bugs -- but maybe one escaped capture.
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Post by fallen on Mar 28, 2017 10:31:25 GMT -5
grävling - ok, well the rest of the typos were real So I fixed those. I have some testing to do evidently with mission pricing over HW jumps, so I will keep an eye out of Mysterious Passenger regression!
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Post by grävling on Mar 28, 2017 11:11:26 GMT -5
s/positive/increase our/ (you need a verb there) the second one is just, having already mentioned Steel Song already in the same sentence, s/Steel Song/the faction/ would read better.
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Post by fallen on Mar 28, 2017 11:23:58 GMT -5
Thx fixed.
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Post by grävling on Mar 28, 2017 11:27:58 GMT -5
the sentence is just not quite right. 'and that freedom sometimes gives me access to political, economic or personal secrets which I can profitably sell to my allies' perhaps? The freedom doesn't give you the ability to sell secrets, just the ability to collect secrets in the first place. s/and/that/ 'will alter the course of conflicts' -- that sounds like it always will. Do you mean that? If not, s/will/may/
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Post by grävling on Mar 28, 2017 11:42:21 GMT -5
s/secret/undiscovered/ I don't know about this 'Whatever it is'. Is this a secret about cousin Loric, so damaging that he needs to disappear right now? Or did cousin Loric discover a secret, and now Corelloth is too hot to hold him? s/but/especially since/
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Post by grävling on Mar 29, 2017 4:46:19 GMT -5
I think we want 'Echelon 0' "(No Edict)" and 'Echelon 1' "" <-- null string so formats nothing if you hold echelon 1 or more. It doesn't have to be 'echelon' -- but it is a term for rank we currently aren't using so won't be confused with something else. The real problem is with the whole text's explanatory value. Assuming I know nothing about the ST world, I won't know why it is important to get a death warrant at all. I just intend to kill people whenever I feel like it, and it is not as if they won't give you the death missions if you don't have an edict. A note saying that 'the pay for bounty hunting missions improves, and, most importantly, if you are ever captured you won't be put to death as a common murderer, but instead will be offered to your faction for ransom' is needed here, I think. Plus any other reasons why an edict is a good thing to have, because there may be others I am completely unaware of. If it effects your reputation or the reputation bonuses you get from bounty hunting jobs, for instance, or makes other warships less likely to hassle you -- I simply don't know if there are any such effects.
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athios
Templar
[ Star Traders 2 Supporter ]
Posts: 1,611
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Post by athios on Mar 29, 2017 14:20:03 GMT -5
A part of the Ship Encounter text needs a rewrite. First two sentences are fine. Final sentence also fine. Third sentence if there is a change in attitude: This ship was initially <0: descriptor (numeric value)>, but now appears <descriptor (numeric value)>. Third sentence if there is no change: This ship appears to be <descriptor (numeric value)>, Captain. Example: This ship was initially completely hostile (-4), but now appears cautious (0). This ship appears to be neutral (1), Captain.
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Post by grävling on Mar 31, 2017 14:52:49 GMT -5
s/less/fewer/ and I'd stick the word 'first' in there so s/You would have/You would first have/
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Post by grävling on Mar 31, 2017 15:05:33 GMT -5
s/revert to/resort to/ I think there is something odd with the text order, in that, what I see happening is ... brawl starts. attention is focused. somebody sneaks onto our crew! (this line is missing) Then all the Yellow text. And finally the security guard chews our ear for as long as we are willing to listen (and keep the smirk of triumph off our face). s/The/A/ s/security/the security/ s/forces/force's/ s/our moment/the perfect moment/
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athios
Templar
[ Star Traders 2 Supporter ]
Posts: 1,611
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Post by athios on Mar 31, 2017 15:48:32 GMT -5
"Victory in Battle, Captain!" screen after a ship combat.
In the description for the Ransom option, it says "Minor reputation loss."
I think in reality this should be Moderate reputation loss.
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