Data Kill: Comments HERE!

[rabidbite]

Take a separate comment thread. Its easier and it helps when you go back and forth to review your work.

It also maintains story flow. You don't want your new readers to go .. say.

"...X hero stares off into the distance. Deep in thought and wondering when the next fight is..."


and have the next freaking line they read be.


"AWESOME WORK DUDE!" I especially liked X hero when...




It also helps me a ton when I'm correcting inconsistencies.

rabid

[paxdad]

So I have renamed this thread to Data Kill: Comments HERE! You know what to do with it! I will be publishing a new story thread so that people will not have to search for subsequent chapters amongst multiple comments.

I will post the new thread once I complete chapter 2. I have been working on it a little each day. Hope to post it soon! Pretty stoked about the new character and how his background story is turning out.

Next chapter you will meet Sl1p.

[grävling]

Mar 28, 2013 20:55:19 GMT -5 paxdad said:

S
I will post the new thread once I complete chapter 2. I have been working on it a little each day. Hope to post it soon! Pretty stoked about the new character and how his background story is turning out.

Next chapter you will meet Sl1p.

Waiting to hear it .... :-)

[paxdad]

Data Kill story thread posted. Chapter 1 and the brand new chapter 2. This is by far the longest piece of fiction I have ever written. I have tried to proof it but it may get tweaks here and there as I go in the future. I truly hope everyone enjoys it. A 3rd installment will begin when I can.

[Jamozk Ekhiss]

Just read Chapter 2 - that was absolutely brilliant.

[paxdad]

Apr 4, 2013 7:08:44 GMT -5 Jamozk Ekhiss said:

Just read Chapter 2 - that was absolutely brilliant.

Thank you Jamozk! Your feedback is much appreciated ;D

Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using proboards

[rabidbite]

Now that was a good piece of writing if I've ever read one.

rabid

[grävling]

yes. thank you.

[rabidbite]

Question, am I to understand the hacker got caught in an infinite loop?

[paxdad]

That is to be clarified in part 3 but yes that is the idea. That is one of the real beauties of forum writing, the art of the cliff hanger, but the pay off is so long in coming you really get to savour the moment and ponder it.

Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using proboards

[paxdad]

So what is Sl1p listening to in those headphones of his anyway? I imagine it to sound something like this:

Dismantled: Survivor

www.youtube.com/watch?v=TnDKoLs1MVI&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Dismantled: Anthem

www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2A2fSkbcCE&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Dismantled: Purity

www.youtube.com/watch?v=So4bftXE5cs&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Dismantled: Backwards

www.youtube.com/watch?v=1XtrmiNoIAQ&feature=youtube_gdata_player

I think Dismantled's first self titled album and the follow up Post Nuclear both capture what I was thinking when writing Sl1ps character.

I think Dismantled goes off the deep end in the later albums and I do not particularly care for those. Dismantled is great when singing about war, apocalypse, and dystopia.

Not so much when singing about moral decay and personal demons.





Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using proboards

[rabidbite]

"So I'm waiting for the next chapter and .... So I'm waiting for the next chapter and .... So I'm waiting for the next chapter and ..."

rabid

[paxdad]

May 16, 2013 7:24:31 GMT -5 rabidbite said:

"So I'm waiting for the next chapter and .... So I'm waiting for the next chapter and .... So I'm waiting for the next chapter and ..."

rabid

Lol, thank you for the word of encouragement Rabid! It is appreciated! Been super busy of late with work and family life. I did finally get a chance to sit down the other night and pen the first 2 sentences. What do they say? A journey of a thousand words begins with one step...

But seriously it has set the tone in my mind, and I am now in ramp up mode to get more down and get the next chapter out.

For me it begins with establishing in my mind the atmosphere of the chapter...from there the words begin to flow.

Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using proboards

[paxdad]

Ugh realize it's taken me a long time to get this next chapter out. Managed to get some work done on it tonight though. Here is a very short sneak peak of the hook.

"Dixon maneuvered through darkness, smoke, and screams. Static discharges over his command net implant echoed the staccato bursts from Blazer’s auto pistol..."

[Jamozk Ekhiss]

Don't worry about it - it's not been nearly as long as some gaps between my posts on another forum (it's probably been about 5 months now in one of mine).