Post by dumb on Nov 24, 2010 1:21:40 GMT -5
I hope this is helpful rather than annoying. But here it goes. This is a list of spelling/grammer issues:
Game Difficulties
Basic:
"Fuel Use?" (should have info)
"Death" (other settings use the term "Permanent Death"... maybe better to be consistent)
Hard:
"Hard is crosses into...." (should read "Hard crosses into...")
"with stringent starting..." ("with a stringent")
Crazy:
"with odd's against..." (should read "with odds against")
", and your skills will..." (is a run-on sentence)
Also, as a note, for the first few difficulties, you use the terms like "Basic Difficulty" and "Normal Difficulty"... but once you get to "Difficult" you drop the "Difficulty". I'm a big believer in consistency. Also, on "Insane" its written "Almost all..." That being the hardest difficulty, is there a reason not all are included? Maybe a typo?
Professions:
Merchant:
"...Spice Hall be aware..." (should read "Spice Hall and be aware")
"...dangerous places and find..."(should have a comma after "places")
Bounty Hunter:
"Land, Spice Hall and StarDock" (should have comma and read "Land, Spice Hall, and Star Dock"
Explorer:
"fringer" (should be "fringe"?)
Captain:
"...appreciable skills, however he..." (run on... should read "appreciable skills. However, he..."
Faction
De Valtos:
"...most powerful Syndicates the De Valtos" (should have comma after "Syndicates")
"they are granted a License" (you are using capitalization for important game concepts. But it looks like the word here does not mean trading license in the same sense)
At the end of the first paragraph, there should be a period
Cadar:
First paragraph is not really a sentence. Most of the other descriptions use full sentences.
Rychart:
Remove the "+" from the beginning of the second paragraph.
Last line just says "Syndicate Rychart."
Thulun:
Remove extra space at the beginning of last sentence.
Javat:
"Clan Javat & best source of..." (not sure what is meant here)
"...need there..." (should be "need their")
The 2nd paragraph should be reworked, seems like a double run-on. Maybe.... "Clan Javat is the best source of Clan Goods. As such, it is a vital source of trade. Many Operatives of the Great Houses need their alliances."
Steel Song:
First paragraph not a full sentence.
"Feature"... should have a paragraph break before it.
Game Difficulties
Basic:
"Fuel Use?" (should have info)
"Death" (other settings use the term "Permanent Death"... maybe better to be consistent)
Hard:
"Hard is crosses into...." (should read "Hard crosses into...")
"with stringent starting..." ("with a stringent")
Crazy:
"with odd's against..." (should read "with odds against")
", and your skills will..." (is a run-on sentence)
Also, as a note, for the first few difficulties, you use the terms like "Basic Difficulty" and "Normal Difficulty"... but once you get to "Difficult" you drop the "Difficulty". I'm a big believer in consistency. Also, on "Insane" its written "Almost all..." That being the hardest difficulty, is there a reason not all are included? Maybe a typo?
Professions:
Merchant:
"...Spice Hall be aware..." (should read "Spice Hall and be aware")
"...dangerous places and find..."(should have a comma after "places")
Bounty Hunter:
"Land, Spice Hall and StarDock" (should have comma and read "Land, Spice Hall, and Star Dock"
Explorer:
"fringer" (should be "fringe"?)
Captain:
"...appreciable skills, however he..." (run on... should read "appreciable skills. However, he..."
Faction
De Valtos:
"...most powerful Syndicates the De Valtos" (should have comma after "Syndicates")
"they are granted a License" (you are using capitalization for important game concepts. But it looks like the word here does not mean trading license in the same sense)
At the end of the first paragraph, there should be a period
Cadar:
First paragraph is not really a sentence. Most of the other descriptions use full sentences.
Rychart:
Remove the "+" from the beginning of the second paragraph.
Last line just says "Syndicate Rychart."
Thulun:
Remove extra space at the beginning of last sentence.
Javat:
"Clan Javat & best source of..." (not sure what is meant here)
"...need there..." (should be "need their")
The 2nd paragraph should be reworked, seems like a double run-on. Maybe.... "Clan Javat is the best source of Clan Goods. As such, it is a vital source of trade. Many Operatives of the Great Houses need their alliances."
Steel Song:
First paragraph not a full sentence.
"Feature"... should have a paragraph break before it.