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Post by Deleted on Apr 1, 2014 12:37:22 GMT -5
Well your post talking about space stations kind of put the thought in my head. I was a big DS9 and Babylon 5 nerd so it didn't take much to get me to write one into my own story.
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Post by rabidbite on Apr 6, 2014 10:44:09 GMT -5
I can honestly say I frankly see Cerberus ending within 5 to 15 posts, depending how I write it all down. After finishing Cerberus, I think I'm taking a break from it. I have some other stories I want to tell in worlds of my own. Three stories keep poking at me to write: A post apocalyptic world where ... well that I won't divulge  A super-villain story. I want to see how it would feel like on the other side. Finish my "Wandering Soldier" story of an engineered super soldier being warped into a world of magic. rabid |
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Post by ntsheep on Apr 6, 2014 11:01:34 GMT -5
I can honestly say I frankly see Cerberus ending within 5 to 15 posts, depending how I write it all down. After finishing Cerberus, I think I'm taking a break from it. I have some other stories I want to tell in worlds of my own. Three stories keep poking at me to write: A post apocalyptic world where ... well that I won't divulge A super-villain story. I want to see how it would feel like on the other side. Finish my "Wandering Soldier" story of an engineered super soldier being warped into a world of magic.rabid Jean-Claude Van Damme goes to Xanth. I love it!!! |
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Post by Deleted on Apr 6, 2014 13:55:05 GMT -5
I can honestly say I frankly see Cerberus ending within 5 to 15 posts, depending how I write it all down. After finishing Cerberus, I think I'm taking a break from it. I have some other stories I want to tell in worlds of my own. Three stories keep poking at me to write: A post apocalyptic world where ... well that I won't divulge A super-villain story. I want to see how it would feel like on the other side. Finish my "Wandering Soldier" story of an engineered super soldier being warped into a world of magic.rabid Jean-Claude Van Damme goes to Zanth. I love it!!! I think I know where this is going...  |
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Post by rabidbite on Apr 7, 2014 22:28:14 GMT -5
Think I'm going to give Mordacai back his voice. This thing about the head is just too stupid. Though, funny. EDIT: Yep, definitely giving Mord his voice back. No real reason to take it, except for the comic relief of having him carry a head around. Going to edit some minor lines today and tomorrow. rabid |
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Post by Jacob on Apr 8, 2014 8:49:01 GMT -5
I'd like to see how you'd do that..
Get out of my Bedroom!!
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Post by ntsheep on Apr 8, 2014 17:51:47 GMT -5
One thing about this coming to an end soon, I still don't know if Cerberus is good or evil in this story, and I like that really. A good story should have you feeling for the characters. What way is his program really taking him? Did the merge with a human evolve him in a way that allows both species to grow together?
If the Narvidians leave Earth following the humans into space, what would happen to the people left behind? Do they recover and in ST2 find those that left in the Exodus? So many questions are raised with each new post of the story and I can't wait to see its end, and if possible, what new story will take its place.
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Post by rabidbite on Apr 8, 2014 18:57:30 GMT -5
Thirteen is a victim of humanity and its lack of understanding that Narvidians have a deep connection with each other that transcends love. Love is a biological thing. Narvidians have something else. Think of it as "paji" (Spelling) a terminology that C.J. Cherryh made up in her Foreigner series. It's loyalty, a tight loyalty and obligation that transcends blood and sexual attachments.
Cerberus (compound personality) is ... CRAZY. Bat shit insane. You have in him so many pulls that there's no telling how the connections will manipulate him at any moment:
1. Narvidian with Paji vs Narvidian with a program to kill other Narvidians
2. Abel Kross, tough but normal Cyberknight vs The Eater of Children who hates EVERYTHING
3. Abel Kross vs Mordacai vs The Eater of Children vs Thirteen.
4. Human Hatred vs Inhuman indifference
5. Human emotions vs Inhuman cold logic
5. Human emotions vs Eater of Children emotions vs Logical emotionless
6. Prudent Slavery vs Reckless Freedom (My favorite topic to explore. Do we have the right to enslave as to ensure our survival?)
That's just 6 off the top of my head.
rabid
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Post by rabidbite on Apr 8, 2014 19:00:54 GMT -5
I'd like to see how you'd do that.. Get out of my Bedroom!! Already started. Went back, edited the moment Cerberus took Mords voice and made it less severe, more an affection of implant sabotage than physical harm. Now just need to edit the times he can't talk and shift the communications to verbal, if the scene merits it. Little tedious, but not that complex. rabid |
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Post by ntsheep on Apr 8, 2014 19:29:21 GMT -5
rabidbite, I love the different ways that Cerberus is torn by his multiple persona's. Some times it takes "crazy" to do the right thing. The relationship between the Narvidians is very neat. There are times that they would destroy each other, yet as you stated, they are loyal to each other. Mother is another interesting character that defies description and placement. Does she want to protect her children, humans or both. As a logical being, she new Diana had no chance and yet chose to help her. But one could also ask if she did it knowing that only one mind could use the body unless they merged like Cerberus. Is Diana really dead? Such a strong will may have surely survived such an ordeal given that Mother and Cerberus could be just minds in a virtual world. I some times have to read stories over and over to really understand them and see all the little things that were clues I missed the first time. P.S. I thought the talking head bit was great.
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Post by rabidbite on Apr 8, 2014 20:55:49 GMT -5
rabidbite, I love the different ways that Cerberus is torn by his multiple persona's. Some times it takes "crazy" to do the right thing. The relationship between the Narvidians is very neat. There are times that they would destroy each other, yet as you stated, they are loyal to each other. Mother is another interesting character that defies description and placement. Does she want to protect her children, humans or both. As a logical being, she new Diana had no chance and yet chose to help her. But one could also ask if she did it knowing that only one mind could use the body unless they merged like Cerberus. Is Diana really dead? Such a strong will may have surely survived such an ordeal given that Mother and Cerberus could be just minds in a virtual world. I some times have to read stories over and over to really understand them and see all the little things that were clues I missed the first time. P.S. I thought the talking head bit was great. I like the talking head, its just that its' stupid. If it were any other character except Mordacai, the talking head would be perfect. Lawrence or even Veronica. But Mordacai? really? Nah. Mordacai would probably cut his own head off (pun intended) before doing something as humiliating and ridiculous as using a detached head to talk to people Now, as for the bit about 'Mother helping Diana'. Remember, Cerberus FEARS her. That has to tell you something right there and then. She is a truly ... truly dangerous woman. Even when she is completely at the mercy of events, she has a plan. The whole ship is being ripped apart as the Narvidians look for Thirteen and Mother lead the PIECES of Cerberus(Akira, Victoria, and Mordacai), which he can usually sense through wireless communications or simple proximity, into a sealed environment that contained HER REAL BODY/BRAIN. (It says Mother, on the door. That wasn't an accident). She lead Cerberus here. She wants him in this room. She wants all the pieces she can find IN the room, shielded and cut off. She knows -knows- that those in the room are the only ones that Cerberus cannot kill or let die by any other means except (depending on the person's particular circumstances) an action conducted through another Narvidian, random chance, each other, or non Narvidian hostile intervention. What's her goal? What's the real reason she wants them all in that room? What's her plan? What is it she doesn't want Cerberus to see? rabid |
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Post by rabidbite on Apr 9, 2014 6:32:14 GMT -5
Ok, I believe I've edited out all the "head" stuff.
Onward.
rabid
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Post by rabidbite on Apr 9, 2014 9:01:59 GMT -5
Once you read the latest post:
I need some input.
Did I bring off the surprise well? Was it easy to suspect?
rabid
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Post by ntsheep on Apr 9, 2014 10:26:17 GMT -5
rabidbite, this story has been nothing but one surprise after another and I love it! Also thanks for answering my questions but that wasn't my intention ask you to. I posted the questions just to show that I like the way the story makes me think about it. Any good story should have its readers wanting to know more about the characters and what they will\are going to do next. The reader should ask "what's next". As far as I'm concerned, you are a master writer. You have brought a dimension to the TB's games and world I think even they couldn't have thought of. Your not "taking from it", you add to it. I find it neat that Cerberus has sought out those he fears or could harm him and in some cases has made them stronger. This idea that to over ride parts of his code, he must put them into others that may be able to destroy him is genius! I know also that Mother has her own plans, but it is hard to get a read on her character. I love it! What is her goal? See seems to really be upset and sadden about those that have died. I can't wait to read more and find out. I know there is another BIG surprise around the corner.
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Post by ntsheep on Apr 9, 2014 10:37:18 GMT -5
ok, just read the latest post of the story, so yes, I did not see that coming, BUT I SHOULD OF!!! Great work rabidbite, truly great work. |
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