Sure? All these weird voices let me think I AM on a Trip... Sheep's smashing Vudka Bottles over peoples heads... Hell!
Sent from my rooted Falcon
Nexus 5X - Android: 7.1.1 Stock - Kernel: 3.10.73-g5a3d8a9 - BuildNr: N5D91L --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Madness is just a general means of interacting with my surroundings.
"Attention campers, afternoon swim schedule is as follows. Advanced dolphins, report to the dock for survival swimming and I.Q. testing. All senior silverfish, meet on the beach for nude sunbathing. All junior salmon, trout, and herring, report to the nearest delicatessen. And 6-year-old tadpoles, report to the swamp. And all lobsters, GET OUT OF HERE! YOU'RE A MENACE!"
Post by virtualrock on Feb 6, 2015 21:25:15 GMT -5
"I welcome you all to the second annual explorer's meeting." "Now I've seen people look down on exploring and say that is was for pussies but we know that only real man can handle it." "I lost 18 arms, 8 eyeballs, 5 legs, 15 fingers, been poisoned five times, and I have some weird alien plant growing on my back." "Now don't even get me started on what happened to my brother Steve, that stuff is the reason for why I wake up with a brown spot on my undies." "My point is that each explorer has lost their limbs at least 8 times in their career." "Now I don't see any military officers visiting the doctor 16 times a day so to be honest they are the real pussies." A large round of applause erupts from everyone in the crowd except for Timmy who still has to get his arms back together.
Post by Officer Genious on Feb 6, 2015 22:38:10 GMT -5
"Sir, we have radar hits and--"
Captain Gallus clicked on the intercom to the radar control room with a gesture that was more lazy than hurried. "Who's this again?"
Someone sighed on the other end. "Radar Officer Genious, sir. Reporting to Captain Gallus that we have unusual pings on radar."
Gallus smiled. He did so love being the Captain, even if he seemed to get political rejects and morons for underlings. "And what are these unusual pings, Ensign--"
"Officer." He could almost hear her bristling. "And you should probably be a little more concerned about what I'm saying."
Gallus rolled his eyes. "Which is...?"
"There are unusual shapes returning to our sensors. Oblong shapes and some like thick cylinders. No heat or electronic signatures, and no obvious point of origin."
"No," she said with forced calm, "Not space rocks. If I had to guess sir, I'd say ntsheep has just been here."
Tom Dicklarry, who had just gotten off piloting duty, laughed out loud as he overheard the officer o. the intercom. Gallus grinned, motioned him to be quiet and leaned in, his eyes aglow. "And what would these shapes be then, Officer Genious?"
A deep breath. "No signatures, and a few have stretched into tissue-thin strips and burst into tiny pieces on contact with space debris," she mumbled, squeaking her chair as she leaned back, "differing echoes when radar bounces off the shapes... I can't confirm, but something like toilet tissue and meat product." Pause. "Sir."
Gallus roared, punctuated by the high, hyena-like laughs of Tim Dicklarry and any other crew member in earshot. "Really? Genious, eh? More like Officer STUPID! That's the dumbest thing I ever heard!! You shouldn't even be an Ensign, you should be running our comedy troup--"
A hologram flickered to life on Gallus's desk, with the normally stern face of Admiral Bossi. Today though, he was absolutely livid.
"Captain Gallus it is raining weinies and toilet tissue from YOUR SECTOR, and lo and behold I have no warning from you. What do you have to say for yourself!?"
In the silence, Gallus could almost hear the grim satisfaction of Officer Genious on the intercom line he didn't shut off in time. The wide eyes of his crew stared at him through the blue haze of the hologram. An idea popped into his head like a miracle.
It was time someone took one for the team. "I believe Officer Genious was in charge of our radar department, and I heard nothing from her," he lied smoothly.
"You rat bast--" CLICK.
"Yes Sir, I will give you my report." The hologram vanished, and Gallus casually erased the call from Officer Genious from the ship logs. He looked back at his crew. "Well? Back to work, everyone! No one's going to do our jobs for us!"