poryg
Templar
[ Star Traders 2 Supporter ]
Posts: 1,723 
|
Post by poryg on Aug 14, 2015 15:32:22 GMT -5
"Hey, did you just hear that?"
"What?"
"I don't know, it sounded like doom or..."
"Wait, did you mean..."
Boom!
"What are these sounds?"
"That is just the welcome party for Poryg, that new pilot in Cadar ranks."
"But isn't it dangerous?"
"He has good stealth skill I heard, so he should be fine."
"So you think he survived it?"
"Yes."
"Lucky man..."
Several weeks later
"Hey, did you hear that?"
"What?"
"I don't know, it sounded like lizz or miss...*
"Wait, do you mean..."
Whizz!
"What are these sounds?"
"I heard that the new cadar pilot has gotten into a fight with Gorpy, that famous Rychart bounty hunter."
"But what are these sounds?"
"That is a plasma cutter, a weapon often used by boarders. I think you caught a hit from it once, so you know."
"Yes, I know... Do you think he survived it?"
"Yes."
"Unlucky man..."
|
|
|
|
Post by ntsheep on Aug 14, 2015 16:48:03 GMT -5
"What's with the serious look on your face?"
"Huh? Oh. I've been thinking about one of the quadrants greatest mysteries."
"Really, what's that?"
"Is ntsheep an anagram for Stephen or is Stephen an anagram for ntsheep?"
The other spacer spits out his drink.
|
|
|
|
Post by slayernz on Aug 14, 2015 20:24:53 GMT -5
"Stupid f#@$%^ work"
"What was that? You should be grateful that you're employed. Me, I kinda live in this spice hall because I don't have a job"
"You can have my job. My manager sucks. My dotted line manager sucks even more. I just want to go pound some of this spice up their ..."
"Relax. And anyway - it'd be a waste of good spice"
"True."
With that, Slayernz falls asleep face-first into the spice pile.
"<sigh> What a waste of good spice"
|
|
Wolfasaur
Curator
Its the elusive, video game playing, Wolfasaurus Rex!
Posts: 25
|
Post by Wolfasaur on Aug 16, 2015 10:42:23 GMT -5
"I want the one button torp launch, not the 473 button one!"
"You get what you get."
"Fine"
|
|
Kydon
Initiate
Watch out for those Narvs
Posts: 20
|
Post by Kydon on Aug 16, 2015 16:52:33 GMT -5
"That can't be him."
"I swear to Shalun it is, just look at him!"
"By the Maker, do you ever shut up? Last week you thought you saw Fire Clay in that Thulun hall, and you didn't stop running your mouth until earlier this morning. And now, as soon as we go planetside, you're at it again."
"No, no, no. This time I'm serious-"
"How much spice have you had, my friend?"
"Only a plate, I swear!"
"'Only a plate'..."
"You know what, I'll prove it to you that I'm right." The smaller man stood up.
"What do you think you're doing?"
"We're going to go ask him."
"Fine, if I'm right, you owe me three rounds."
"And if it is him, you owe me your cut for the next haul."
"Deal." The taller spacer stood up and shook the other's outstretched hand.
|
|
|
|
Post by ntsheep on Sept 9, 2015 23:26:31 GMT -5
Poetry night
Words like a knife, stab deep into his heart
he knew the time, his end would start
killed by a friend, one so loved
will the angels weep, in the heavens above
the wolf she walks, her path alone
the cat he follows, to him the future is known
a guardians fate, a loved ones choice
off in the distance, weeps a sad voice
killed by the chosen, the weapon was love
one angel weeps, in the heavens above
tears turn to blood, as they fall to the ground
and so ends the tale, of the cat and the hound
|
|
|
|
Post by slayernz on Sept 10, 2015 1:15:15 GMT -5
Cadar Poetry
Shall I compare thee to a torp,
For thou art more round and shiny
With a smile that explodes more readily
Thine legs are like finely crafted void engines
And thy heart is a perfect payload of love and affection,
Just like a torp. Just like a big shiny explosive torp.
At that point, the Cadar captain starts drooling a little at the thought of a big shiny explosive torp.
|
|
|
|
Post by ntsheep on Sept 10, 2015 16:52:03 GMT -5
Off I go to court my death
to savor a kiss with one last breath
to look the Devil right in the eye
and flash a smile when I die
To shed my pain and no more tears
to find some hope and no more fear
to banish the rain with a thought of joy
and say it's all right to that lost little boy
And so I go to court my death
what shall I do with my last breath
I will look you my friend right in the eye
and to thee I say a simple goodbye
|
|
Atlas Screams
Exemplar
[ Patreon ]
The language of my people is lasers.
Posts: 451
|
Post by Atlas Screams on Sept 27, 2015 14:17:43 GMT -5
I prime my new torp
It is shiny and solid
Standard Cadar "Hi"
|
|
|
|
Post by eden0fury on Dec 19, 2015 2:00:28 GMT -5
A drunken man stumbles up to a Cadar captain.
"Oi! What're youu doinn ere mate!? There's a solar war between the Cadar and De Valtos, get off me planet!"
"Buddy if you don't back up and shut up, my sword is going up your butt."
"Nobody talks to mee like that!"
The man assumes an off balance fighting pose and swings at the captain.
"You asked for it."
"Oi, what're you doin?! Stop tha... AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!"
A crew member and De Valtos miner are sitting near each other on the other side of the spice hall.
"What is he doing to that guy?!?!"
"Just finish your spice, he does this every Thursday."
|
|
|
|
Post by ntsheep on Dec 24, 2015 22:25:44 GMT -5
"So I hear your getting ready to go on an extended exploration run."
"Yep. If I'm not back in two weeks, send a search party. If their not back in two weeks, get there quick, we found a great strip club."
***
"What are you staring at?"
"See that guy in the corner. He's wearing a high ranking military uniform but he's got the strangest hat I've ever seen."
"Oh, what's so strange about it?"
"It looks like a sheep's head I think."
"Oh shit!"
***
"Merry Christmas to all."
"You still believe in that."
"Of course. It's a great holiday."
"Yeah sure, a great holiday from a planet that doesn't exist or if it ever did, no one knows where the hell it is anymore."
"I do, second star to the right, and straight on till morning."
|
|
|
|
Post by ntsheep on Jan 17, 2016 18:51:40 GMT -5
"Take this to table 37." the bartender said to the spice girl.
She grabbed the tray of drinks and spice and walked off. The bartender realized to late that he forgot to warn her. It was "Speak in a strange way day" for ntsheep. Oh well, we all had one of those days coming to us.
"Here's your drinks sir," she said as she put the tray down, "hope you had a good day."
ntsheep struck with a fury never before seen.
In a strange Scottish voice he said,
"Twas a cold day in Hell. The wind was fierce. My arse was frozen, and me balls went so high I had three Adams apples. I feel sorry for them dairy cows. Teats so cold and shrunken the farmer's cat was using a microscope just to get a bit of milk."
|
|
|
|
Post by ntsheep on Mar 6, 2016 1:18:38 GMT -5
"You try dealing with all the other mes I have in my head for a day and lets see how much sanity you have left."
|
|
Vraesrial
Exemplar
The absolute God of Hyperdeath, an outlander, and the bad pun king.
Posts: 278
|
Post by Vraesrial on Mar 10, 2016 17:59:17 GMT -5
"Have you seen those Thulun pricks!?" a drunkard abruptly grabbed the sullen mans shoulder.
"Yes," he replied softly.
"One of them tried to break through the De Valtos blockade on Antronin! Apparently he was trying to rescue his imprisoned first mate, but ended up losing his entire crew along with him!" the drunk man laughed.
The other man looked down into his glass and began to weep.
"What's wrong, lad?"
"Admiral Reinhold Dumont...of Hydri-Thulon Prime...reporting for duty."
(I write depressing stuff in my free time. Nice isn't it? :/)
|
|
|
|
Post by Officer Genious on Mar 10, 2016 18:07:37 GMT -5
"Have you seen those Thulun pricks!?" a drunkard abruptly grabbed the sullen mans shoulder. "Yes," he replied softly. "One of them tried to break through the De Valtos blockade on Antronin! Apparently he was trying to rescue his imprisoned first mate, but ended up losing his entire crew along with him!" the drunk man laughed. The other man looked down into his glass and began to weep. "What's wrong, lad?" "Admiral Reinhold Dumont...of Hydri-Thulon Prime...reporting for duty." (I write depressing stuff in my free time. Nice isn't it? :/) I approve. Write more, Admiral! |
|
