|
Post by grävling on Dec 11, 2011 4:06:32 GMT -5
Thermographic Imaging description s/Iniative/Initiative/
|
|
|
Post by fallen on Dec 11, 2011 11:35:02 GMT -5
Resolved for the release after 0.6.9.
|
|
|
Post by grävling on Dec 11, 2011 15:45:04 GMT -5
Jonny Vaughn's dialog: s/to negotiate a deal/to negotiate a deal in/
|
|
|
Post by grävling on Dec 11, 2011 19:42:51 GMT -5
Cava Saint Conversation s/loyalty to the Fennian's/loyalty to the Fennians/ (no apostrophe) s/its all good/it's all good/ (here you want the apostrophe) s/high risk, high pay jobs./high-risk, high-paying jobs./ s/slow down their Knight/slow down there Knight/
later s/back-rooms/back rooms/
later
s/we pay you and rewards you/we pay you and reward you/
later
You have 'You gotta show your reputation ot[sic] the Fennians tho.' I think 'You have to prove your worth to the Fennians, though.' or 'You have to show your respect for the Fennians, though.' is what you meant.
later
s/You been/You've been/ s/its just up/it's just up/ s/anymore/any more/
later
s/ weaponary/weaponry/ s/raises the weapons accuracy/raises the weapon's accuracy/ -- though I think that instead of saying 'raises to new levels' you should say 'improves it' s/it yourself/it yourself./
later
You write: I've got a formal invitation to the neighbourhood.
But I don't think that this quite says what you want. More along the lines of:
We've been working well together, for a long time. Your beginning to feel quite the family member. But you know what you've been missing, Knight? A real home down here in the neighbourhood. That's why we've decided to ...
because this isn't the gang that does formal invitations. This is the one that does family loyalty. And what says family more than the family home?
s/I always walkt/I always want/ s/Aggressive talents/aggressive ... skills/
s/full access to my full job catalog/full access to my complete job catalog/ s/brush up on your Fennian rep/brush up your Fennian rep/
------------ And I am assuming that I am now done with Cava Saint now, in terms of new conversations, correct?
|
|
|
Post by grävling on Dec 11, 2011 21:58:09 GMT -5
Church of Faith, Fury and Redemption s/good lord's sheperding/good Lord's shepherding/ (note 2 fixes) s/rightous/righteous/
|
|
|
Post by grävling on Dec 12, 2011 9:34:04 GMT -5
V's Warehouse s/something?:/something?/
Actually, the : belongs with the Hyper-Punk, which is missing one. And for consistency you want the speaker on line one, and what is said beneath that ... at least that is the way other texts in Los V are printed.
|
|
|
Post by grävling on Dec 12, 2011 18:25:52 GMT -5
Sonic the Dwarf talks about 'the north west slums of the NBZ' being rough. But he is talking about the south-west slums, no, since he says they are run by Los V? Either way you need a hyphen between north or south and west.
s/on the good graces/in the good graces/ s/better that then someone else/better him than someone else/ (note 2 fixes)
|
|
|
Post by grävling on Dec 12, 2011 18:43:48 GMT -5
Warehouse in Old Bridge s/Heavy Armored/Heavily Armored/
|
|
|
Post by grävling on Dec 12, 2011 23:57:07 GMT -5
Frak Bugger Conversation s/You kinda runner./Your kind of runner./ (or maybe let 'kinda' stand, as it works as dialect. )
|
|
|
Post by grävling on Dec 13, 2011 8:34:16 GMT -5
Tattoo Parlor
s/Tatoo/Tattoo/ One response is "C. A. Medical Systemica is known on the streets to have the best in the biz." Do you mean C.A. Medical Systems? If so, the street is *wrong* about this, and the word I would put out on the street is that Mars corp's strength is not in cyberware, but armour. Buy your wires from Yakashima, and AzTek.
EDIT: Actually, I take that back. I just went to Mars Corp's Private Clinic, and, yes, they have nice stuff. If the street says that they have the best in the biz, well, I would argue against it but they could make a good case. But C.A. Medical Systems isn't the place with the best, at all.
|
|
|
Post by grävling on Dec 13, 2011 12:04:39 GMT -5
Howling Sea Inn s/destoyed/destroyed/
|
|
|
Post by fallen on Dec 13, 2011 17:37:40 GMT -5
Oh great dome above us all! You've been busy =)
I will deal with these next week when I get back from work travel. Please keep reporting!
|
|
|
Post by grävling on Dec 13, 2011 20:42:39 GMT -5
Hitlon New Boston Hotel
It says 'Welcome to the Hilton of New Boston'. So either this sentence needs to say 'Hitlon' or the building name needs to be 'Hilton New Boston'
s/state of the art/state-of-the-art/ s/No where else/Nowhere else/
|
|
|
Post by grävling on Dec 13, 2011 21:01:18 GMT -5
The fugitive is still a 'fugative'. And I have been capturing so many of them it's beginning to look _correct_ to me. Please fix soon, before I am professionally ruined.
|
|
|
Post by grävling on Dec 13, 2011 21:17:54 GMT -5
Bing Grady s/back-door/back door/ There is sentence 'The VIP room for VIPs.' that doesn't make sense here. I don't know what you were trying to say, but it didn't come out clearly.
|
|